Friday, March 9, 2012

3-9-12: Plumbing the Depths of Ohio

Happy (belated) International Women's Day! So, who's the latest to get on board the #StopRush bandwagon? Advertisers are dumping Rush's radio show in droves. Considering the garbage this guy has spewed over the years, we find it hilarious/ fascinating/sad that these companies were advertising on his show in the first place. Ah, well, anything to make a buck. Republican politicians are also putting distance between themselves and Rush. (Although Newt really half-assed it). Maybe they came to a realization that women vote in the US of A.

Go away already, Rush.


The Week That Was

Folks, we've been waiting forever for a credible primary challenger to President Obama. Cheers to Randal Terry, who will be a force to be reckoned with as he charges towards Charlotte with a single delegate in his name. Now, let's move on to the GOP mess. Ohio was a nail-biter, causing NBC to declare that there would be no winner. That's a sure way to steal viewers from Wolf, Chuck! We at Turner Central weren't worried at all about a close vote dragging into the wee hours. Mitt's real base prevented that from happening. Guess that last-minute pander wasn't a gaffe, after all, eh, Ann? Is Mittens finally back in the driver's seat? (Sans four-legged friend, of course).

Progressives paid close attention on Tuesday to the Democratic primary contest between Reps. Marcy Kaptur and Dennis Kucinich. Kaptur easily trounced the elfin progressive icon. A word of caution to our GOP friends in Ohio: while you succeeded in drawing blood between Democrats, you're now stuck with one heckuva fool in Sam Wurzelbacher. (Oh, sorry, can we use that name?). We has no idea that there existed a tax-cheating fake plumber shortage in this newly-drawn district. Thank you for handing Ms. Kaptur an early win, "Sam." Oh, yes, and Jean Schmidt -- you remember her, don't you? She's the congresswoman who called the late Jim Murtha a coward on the House floor. Come January, Mean Jean will be out the door. See ya!

A giddy Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell commemorated this International Women's Day, March 8, a wee bit early. He placed his seal of approval onto legislation that requires an ultrasound procedure for women before having an abortion. You might not have guessed correctly, but this anti-choice, pro-limited government governor is actually in favor of government intrusion.

Rest in peace, Mr. Donald Payne. The dean of the New Jersey congressional delegation passed away shortly after a recent diagnosis of colon cancer. Payne was known as an advocate for education and Africa-related issues.

Our thoughts go out to America's heartland, which has been the recipient of some particularly violent weather systems. We're not totally in the loop about Ohio's financial health, but we are absolutely certain that Gov. Kasich can take care of his citizens. "Federal assistance" - sounds kind of communist, huh? Tea Party policy IN ACTION.

Eric Holder got down to business Monday, defending the Administration's right to target U.S. citizens abroad suspected of pallin' around with terrorists. Conservatives say Barry is flip-flopping on terrorism, while the Left is concerned about the abuse of power. Priorities, people, priorities!

Change We Can Believe In! Ha, just kidding. Russia's Vladimir Putin is headed back to the president's office. Election observers reported rampant fraud (what's new these days?) and while the State Department quietly agrees with the critics, it still "looks forward to working with the president-elect." Done and done!

Are You Not Entertained?

Republicans, are you tired of your candidate slate? Why not take the leap and join the Obama-Biden team? The Obama campaign has released a teaser of a yet-to-be-released full-length recap of the President's term. Oh, we give up trying to convince you. Here is an outstanding pro-Santorum video that you should watch for liberty and traditional values.

Gawker Media, which owns Gawker, reported on the launch of Sitch News, a website that looks awfully like any other site owned by Gawker Media. Phew. Is this a joke? We'll stick with hard news leader CNN for any breaking news from the Jersey Shore.

Pat Robertson is for legalizing marijuana. But don't bother contacting him about appearing in ads - he says he's not a crusader.

The best rants occur at city council meetings, which this video perfectly captures. Hooray for freedom! 

Interweb Tomfoolery

Are you in a panic because it is your first time attending the South by Southwest (SXSW) festival? Do you represent your company and want to garner as much press coverage as you possibly can? If the answer is yes, then we are here to help you. Relax, pack your bag, and follow these basic tips. It's always a good idea to have a press page on your website. Also, make sure that your press page is easily accessible from the main page and is easily navigable. There should always be a human contact at the other end. Don't make the mistake of using emails that begin with "info@" and "press@." You want the press to love you and pay attention to your page. Be creative in the design of your press page and always have data available for hungry reporters. Numbers do matter. And last but not least, don't forget to enjoy the festival, meet new people, and of course, network!

Viewed by more than 55 million people on YouTube since Monday, KONY 2012 has become one of the most-viewed "viral" videos in history. The thirty minute film is part of a campaign by the charity Invisible Children to bring attention to the atrocities committed by Joseph Kony, a Ugandan guerrilla group leader, and his Lord's Resistance Army (LRA).  Tens of thousands of children are believed to have been conscripted into his "army." The conflict between the LRA and the Ugandan government has displaced more than 2 million since fighting began in the late 1980s. Critics of the video have already emerged, taking aim at an untimely campaign launch (the LRA was pushed out of Uganda six years ago), questionable finances at Invisible Children, and the reality of "millions of well-meaning but misinformed people". (Will all of this be forgotten by next week?). Nevertheless, the charity succeeded in putting Joseph Kony and his crimes back into the international spotlight.

Out on the Town

Remember, Daylight Saving Time begins on Sunday. Of course, if you live in Arizona and Hawaii, banish that thought.
Scorecard

Well, shucks, folks - it looks like that media-hyped solar storm was just a breeze. Life will go on. But we do have a plan. Let's get Newt elected so he can more forward with that lunar base fantasy of his. Then we'll ship Rush over with a one-way ticket so he can broadcast exclusively to the Martians.

See you next week!

RoyalExecutioner






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