Friday, March 2, 2012

3-2-12: Who Will Be the Last Moderate Standing?

Washington Metro riders on the orange line are no doubt taking a another look at that classy new ad telling the President to "go to hell." Virginia Rep. Jim Moran believes that this anti-health care placement is disrespectful to the office and should be removed immediately. Metro, for its part, is defending its decision to keep that crap up, because its free speech. Phew! All taken care of. Obama, however, has received an apology from a US District Court judge who sent a dumb, racist email.

What a world we live in!

The Week That Was

Well, what do you know - Wyoming held it's caucus over the course of the past three weeks and federal funding moocher Mitt Romney won the non-binding contest! A whopping 2,108 people showed up to participate in the straw poll, which began on February 9. (So that's about 100 folks voting per day in the entire state). Super congratulations on your big win, Mitt! Romney also held back the Santorum Surge from spreading beyond Arizona and Michigan. There is some good news for Romney supporters (but not so much the NASCAR fans and historians) in the bottom TR snowepalin99%: your donations are now gladly accepted. Now, onwards to Super Tuesday!

Maine Senator Olympia Snowe has had it with the partisan gridlock in Washington. Maine's senior senator is stepping down after three terms in the Senate. Her shocking announcement has put the state GOP in a bind as the filing deadline for candidates is less than two weeks away. Democrats see the now-open seat as a possible pickup, which means poor Mitch McConnell will be stuck in the minority.

What's the Old Dominion up to this week, y'all? The Virginia Senate passed a "watered-down" bill (without the whole trans-vaginal thing) that would still force a woman to have an ultrasound prior to an abortion. Them conservatives down in the Old Confederacy sure have a thing or two for government intrusion, don't they? Governor McDonnell is reading over the legislation and indicates that he supports the concept. Mr. McDonnell, you might have heard, has a track record for compassion. Earlier this week, he sat down with family members of the victims of the Virginia Tech massacre, and then dutifully repealed a one-gun-a-month law. Haha, and we thought Pennsylvania was going to win the crown of shame.

Maryland became the latest state to legalize same-sex marriage, but (as always) challengers want this thing back on the ballot because the voters are always right. Californians showed us that back in '08. More conservative government intrusion for ya.
TR smokesblunt
Senate Democrats and Olympia Snowe (yes!) blocked Roy Blunt's amendment to allow employers to opt out of healthcare coverage mandates based on religious and moral grounds. Meanwhile, Utah's hipster-hatin' Orrin Hatch is fighting back against tyranny, so let the history books mark this day as the beginning of Barry's lifetime dictatorship.

The State Department announced that North Korea has agreed to suspend its nuclear enrichment plan, but officials are stressing that this is only a small development toward the goal of a nuclear-free state. Sources say the US has agreed to ship 20,000 pounds of food each month for the next year. But hold it right there, folks, this is just an "election year gimmick"! (Just like bin Laden?).

Forget about election records set in the United States (sorry, Barry). Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is claiming that more than half of eligible voters participated in a referendum, which among other things, calls for a new Constitution and sets term limits for the presidency - NOT RETROACTIVE, of course. The results: 90% in favor. Such a rosy picture, except for the endless slaughter.

Are You Not Entertained?

Andrew Breitbart is dead. The bombastic conservative muckraker passed away from "natural causes" in Los Angeles. He was known for airing the dirty Tweets of former Rep. Anthony Weiner, going after USDA official Shirley Sherrod, and making salacious appearances at CPAC. Rest in peace, we think...

Beliebers are celebrating adulthood! Okay, so we assume many of them are well past that age (whoopsies!). The Canadian superstar, as a reminder to our American patriotic readers, turned eighteen on Thursday. A $100k car? Not bad, Biebs. Just wait until he turns 21, when the real Apocalypse will be upon us. For our former Queen of Snark: it's a record broken. BTW, why are the lawyers the ones thinking about the nasty?

America's #1 celebrity attorney person or whatchamacallit, Gloria Allred, suffered a bout of 'reply-all' syndrome. To make the big time news in Hollywood, make sure you attend a star-studded watch party and don't forget to click the spam-all button on your favorite press list. After reading through that list, just about everyone should be surprised to find out that CNN covered celebrities.

Rupert Murdoch spawn James Murdoch is out as chairman of News International, News Corporation's British arm. James is returning to New York City (where he is loved more?) and will remain on the company's leadership team. Get ready for a new round of phone tappin' goodness, New Yorkers!

Interweb Tomfoolery

Barring any hiccups, we can expect everyone’s brand pages to have made the transition to Facebook Timelines by the end of the month.  We have already seen some great work from some brands. Yesterday, Barack Obama's campaign made the switch. The cover photo, as you can see, is all about job creation. Also, we love how you can browse the online store and see the President’s birth certificate emblazoned on a coffee mug. Would anyone care to purchase a few and mail them to Sheriff Joe? (Don’t forget to pack a pair of pink underwear). You still have a month to prepare for your brand’s Timeline transition.

What is the Klout of Pinterest? We’re here to bring good news to the data nerds! The new web app, Pinpuff, measures your influence on Pinterest. We know you are addicted to the new social media platform and are pinning each other’s photos all day. Now, you can measure your influence on Pinterest. Pinpuff is currently in a private beta, but the first 1,000 users will have the opportunity to try it exclusively and see how it works. Have you already signed up? We already did and we are excited about testing the new app!

We’ve been hearing that people are complaining that there is no method on Pinterest to pin your favorite Facebook photos.  Facebook developers have no intention of changing this either, because that drives traffic away from Facebook.  But as it turns out, there is, in fact, another way to do it.

Turner knows: You can pin items directly from Facebook using a Google Extension.  Download Google Chrome and then head on over to the web store for extensions. Then, click on the Social and Communications tab and double-click the Pinterest tool. It also lets you set up how you want to use the tool (i.e., making it so that instead of having to click on a separate Pinterest button on your toolbar, you can simply right-click the image that you want to pin).

Out on the Town

Thinking about going out on the town this weekend? Here are some helpful suggestions:

  • Bill Burr performs at the Lincoln Theatre.  
  • The Brewer's Ball at the National's Park benefits cystic fibrosis research.  .
Scorecard

Mitt is back in the front of the sinking GOP ship. Hopefully he's learned his lesson (yeah, that's likely) and will keep those magic mittens sparkling ahead of Tuesday.

Until then,

RoyalExecutioner

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