Friday, February 10, 2012

2-10-12: Tuesday's Results Do Not Compute for the Romney-bot

Did you hear the news? New Hampshire state representatives shot down a resolution supporting the District's statehood movement. The resolution failed by a whopping 79-248 vote. Bleh, the folks in the Granite State have far more important legislative matters to attend to, such as denying workers time off for lunch. Live Free or Die indeed.

We're guessing that snark is about to be outlawed in Concord.

The Week That Was

What happened there, Mittens? Not a soul escaped from the Santorum Wave as it surged through Colorado, Minnesota and Missouri. Tuesday night was particularly brutal to the electrical circuits of the Romney-bot, who lashed out at his fellow insider. TR romneybotWhat is it like to spend a day on the road with the Romney-bot? Well, you can find out for a price. President Obama, on the other hand, says that he deserves a second term at the helm. Obama faces a rising tide of secret money, so we'll give him a slap on the wrist for making a 180 on PAC money. We won't say anything more, if you don't, Mr. President.

All the fun doesn't stop there, though, for CPAC is here! Speakers include successful presidential candidates Rick Perry, Michele Bachmann and Herman Cain. We'll also be hearing from the brightest political minds (knock, knock, who's there?!) of Allen West and Sarah Palin. Oh, and what about these people? What a lineup! Alas -- we'd rather go on a weekend field trip of dumpster diving than attend this loony convention.

Karen Handel is running for President for real. Haha, just kidding (and we do mean that). The woman at the center of the Komen storm resigned on Monday and made sure to refuse that hefty severance package. Mmm, what do you think? A book deal? A documentary? Whatever she does, we know she'll be jabbering profusely about how she loved working with the big bullies at Komen. And finally, a top donor won't open her checkbook again until the organization cleans house. It's a good thing Komen chose Ari Fleischer to clean things up.

The Catholic Church kicked up quite a storm around a new rule that would have forced certain religious employers to provide birth control to women free of charge. The Obama Administration announced a change in the rules, and now those same employers who object can be assured that coverage will be provided to women directly from their insurers. Hey, that's a great example of streamlining right there!

The House version of the STOCK Act passed overwhelmingly with two representatives voting in dissent (couldn't get enough of it, we guess). While it should no longer be legal to conduct insider trading on Capitol Hill, the WaPo reports that our tax dollars are being used wisely these days on projects close to Members' properties. Hooray for them!

Nearly four years after a slim majority of California voters approved Proposition 8 to ban same-sex marriage, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals ruled the measure unconstitutional. "Lessen[ing] the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians" is apparently against the law! The Court left in place a stay issued by a lower court, which will prevent gays from marrying in the meantime. The "pro-traditional marriage" Maggie Gallagher-types are already planning to appeal to the US Supreme Court. This as Washington state Gov. Chris Gregoire prepares to sign gay-marriage legislation on Monday.

Greece's leaders have agreed to an austerity plan that will include cuts to pensions, a reduction of the minimum wage and deeper spending cuts. As expected, huge strikes are being organized to protest. Spain and Portugal are not far behind with financial trouble, but at least their difficulties will be solved before the end of times.

The United States shuttered its embassy in Damascus as the Syrian army continues a brutal crackdown on civilians in Homs. China and Russia vetoed a UN resolution condemning the Syrian government. The Pentagon is looking at options, but it's unlikely that Obama will pull the trigger. What does a dictator have to do to get on Barry's hit list?

Are You Not Entertained?

Who hasn't had a little fun on the campaign trail? The campaign of former Rep. Pete Hoekstra, who is challenging Sen. Debbie Stabenow in Michigan, ran a rather racy ad during the Super Bowl. The ad stars an Asian woman who, in broken English, thanks the Senator for excessive spending -- insinuating that it benefits China. A handful of GOP operatives are calling the ad over-the-top and insensitive. No, really? Debbie's going to the bank with this one.

Speaking of Super Bowl advertisements - were you awed by the Clint Eastwood's Halftime in America narration? Karl Rove wasn't. Gone are the good old days of tearing the American electorate apart and cheering when people are down on their luck. Our little turd-blossom yearns for the yesteryear.

Roland Martin has been suspended by CNN for his "regrettable and offensive" tweets. Martin claimed that his tweets were directed toward soccer fans and not gays. Gee, we didn't know that advocating violence against one group and not another is a-okay! Oh, and Roland, you know you've gone a bit too far when Glenn Beck calls you an idiot, a clown and a dope. Just saying.

House, the long-running television medical drama, is ending its run after eight seasons. See you later, Doc.

Look out, CNN! (Haha). Walt Disney Co. is said to be in talks with Univision to develop an English-language cable news channel. Content will be drawn from both ABC News and Univision. The channel will likely be based out of Miami.

Interweb Tomfoolery

Is Twitter more addictive than cigarettes and alcohol? That's the question researchers at the University of Chicago set out to answer in a study of 205 people in Germany. Participants in a week-long study were contacted seven times throughout the day and asked to gauge their desire via BlackBerrys. Researchers found that many people cannot resist utilizing social media services because of the perceived lack of immediate downsides.

If you haven't heard, Planned Parenthood has seen its donations skyrocket - $8 billion and counting - in the aftermath of the Komen debacle. What to do with so much money? Why, open an "Abortionplex," of course. Gotcha! Planned Parenthood has not raised $8 billion and will not be opening some grand facility in Kansas. Tell that to Rep. John Fleming.

Obama was enthusiastic, to say the least, at the second annual science fair held at the White House. A marshmallow gun stole the show.

Money-maker Mark Zuckerberg accidentally "liked" Mitt Romney. Or did he?

What's a vending machine without the snark? Boy, we'd like one of these at Turner Central, stat! (It should friendlier, though).

Fridays with Violet

Good Friday! Our very own Violet Tsagkas will be orchestrating the whole social media guru update at the end of each week. Don't worry, you're in good hands!

The latest generation of students is utilizing social media to stay connected with friends and family and maybe that significant other. However, social networking can be helpful in more ways than keeping in touch with friends. It can also be one of your major tools to find a job. Yes, you heard right. Through social media, you have the opportunity to connect with experts in the fields you have interested in, show off your knowledge and know-how, and perhaps land that first job following graduation. Follow the right companies on Facebook and LinkedIn and use hashtags such as #career_fair, #hiring, and #interviewing on Twitter, and I am sure you will find many helpful tips for interviews and job openings.

If there’s one thing you should be mindful of, it's that employers, future colleagues, and other professionals could be peeking at your social media activity, so it doesn’t hurt to think twice before posting something inappropriate on your profile.

Out on the Town

It's alright to come out from your snow bunkers (rolls eyes), DC workers -- there's not a flurry in sight for this weekend's weather.
Scorecard

You have no idea how much we would have paid to see an unhinged Mitt Romney holed up in a five-star suite this past Tuesday! The numbers are in flux again as we head toward February 28 and Romney's second go-around may be his last.

We'll see you next week,

RoyalExecutioner



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