Friday, October 14, 2011

10-14-11: It's Pizza Night at the House of Cain

Were you fortunate enough to be caught in last night's downpour? Sadly, there's not enough water in the forecast to wash away the stink in the halls of Congress and the grip of special interests. Will we witness change this Sunday?

Skip forward for some snark to warm up your weekend.

The Week That Was

You know, we saw this coming. The man behind a pizza chain is skyrocketing in the polls. Who in America doesn't love a slice of heaven, especially in today's economy? Rick Perry, once a Tea Party saint, is just an afterthought (a carefully scripted speech won't save you now!). Pro-healthcare reformer Mitt Romney TR JoePlumberreceived a big endorsement from Christie this week. He's slick working behind the scenes. Now everyone is saying Mittens is the inevitable nominee.

Let's move on to some other noteworthy campaign news. Joe the Plumber, the attention-seeking spectacle during the 2008 campaign, filed paperwork to run in Ohio's 9th Congressional District, in which he does not live. Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher has already set up a no-frills campaign website ready to accept your Tea Party bucks. It's a pity "Joe" forgot to do a little research so that he might arrive at the conclusion that he has little chance in a heavily-Democratic district. Oh, and the REAL plumbers don't think highly of him. Zing. Is this Tea Party grifting movement a trend?

You should read Vanity Fair's piece on Elizabeth Warren. With Scott Brown's recent stumbles, it's looking better by the day for the rising Democratic star.

House Republicans are attacking a woman's right to choose, again. There's nothing new about that. GOP-sponsored legislation would amend the Affordable Care Act to prevent federal funding for use in abortions or plans that provide abortion coverage. Members, some of their staff, and a kitten kaboodle of anti-abortion groups were on hand yesterday for some live ultrasounds in the Capitol Visitors Center. Cute. The House passed another piece of anti-abortion legislation, the Protect Life Act, but it's unlikely the Senate will follow up.

Senate Republicans and a handful of Democrats (shame on them!) shot down President Obama's jobs package. Barry's going to work with Democrats to pass smaller bits of legislation. Thankfully, Congress awarded the President a victory this week when it gave the green light to trade agreements with Colombia, Panama, and South Korea. All of this is tiring poor Bill Daley.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg is losing patience with the Occupy Wall Street people. The billionaire mayor made a personal appearance (how thoughtful of him) and told them to clean up their act. If you haven't already heard, America's #1 pimp, James O'Keefe, who's still serving out three years of probation, joined the TR OkeefeOWSfestivities on Wall Street. Sources say his appearance was not related to his narcissistic craving for attention or his credit card debt. Meanwhile, conservative "activist" Victoria Jackson also made a laughable appearance. Who, you say? Well, the media says she starred on SNL, so we guess she's famous or something. CNN hack Erick Erickson brought up the rear with a real doozy, and Teabaggers are rightly fumed about being compared to these hippies. Hey, there's nothing wrong with diversity. Finally, what does FDR have to say about Occupy Wall Street?

OWS should be happy about this news: Former Galleon Group hedge fund founder Raj Rajaratnam was sentenced to 11 years in prison for pocketing millions from insider trading. U.S. Attorney Preet Bharara called Rajaratnam's sentencing a wake up call for Wall Street. Haha. We bet Mittens would call this occasion "Believing in America."

So, about that Iran assassination plot... The FBI charged two men, one a naturalized U.S. citizen and the other a member of Iran's Revolutionary Guard, with conspiracy to murder a foreign official (the Saudi Ambassador to the United States), among other things. Obama said the Iran government will "pay a price" for its alleged involvement in the plot in the form of sanctions and isolation from the international community. But, hold your horses, because a few anonymous insiders say there's little evidence of Iran's top leadership having knowledge of the plot. Deja vu?

Are You Not Entertained?

A Reddit poster asked if a single U.S. Marine Infantry Unit could defeat Rome during the rule of Augustus. That time-traveling piece of fiction warranted the attention of Warner Bros., which purchased the idea from two-time Jeopardy champion James Irwin. Not bad for a single posting on the interwebs.

Avatar leads the pack of the most pirated films of all time with 21 million questionable downloads. We are absolutely certain that NONE of our TR readers are part of this statistic.
TR PaulaDeen
Hey, y'all! Regardless of what you think about her cooking, Paula Deen was named the hottest female TV chef by Maxim. Sadly, you won't find Paula's cuisine gracing the Obama family dinner table (but maybe ours?).

World War Z is still on schedule, according to producers. Brad Pitt's latest film encountered a hiccup after Hungarian authorities seized one hundred weapons brought in via Budapest Ferenc Liszt Airport. Not exactly the blockbuster they were looking forward to shoot.

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane says the series, currently in its seventh season, deserves a shot at the silver screen. He's also interested in bringing Star Trek back to television.

Interweb Tomfoolery

There must be something in the sauce. A Florida Taco Bell fell victim to a drunk Matthew Falkner, who passed out at the drive-thru window. When police asked for ID, Falkner took out a taco. He was arrested with nearly three times the legal blood alcohol level. Genius.

The Wall Street Journal is looking good, with it's excellent TR brokenblackberryopinionated spin of Occupy Wall Street. Which is why were asking: Is a copy of the WSJ really worth a penny?

Research in Motion's CEO is apologizing this for a severe three-day BlackBerry outage that affected users around the globe, and, according to CNN, on Mars.

Ben & Jerry's has a particularly independent streak of creating new flavors - although their last creation upset the wing-nuts. Here's your chance to create the flavor of your dreams.

Starbucks is moving quickly into the juice bar business. The coffee giant predicts the world's coffee supply will run dry several decades from now. So much for sustainability.

Out on the Town

We are praying that the weather people get this weekend right. Sunny and warm is in the forecast.
  • Art, performance and music at the Smithsonian's After Hours
Scorecard

People laughed at the thought of Herman Cain winning the GOP nomination. They might still be right. As a professed outsider, Mr. Cain says he'll be forced to bring on-board D.C. insiders for all the backroom deals. He's confusing the Tea Party crowd now. Come on, Sarah, time to jump back in!

We'll catch you next week,

RoyalExecutioner

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