Friday, August 5, 2011

8-5-11: Demon Drinks and Satan Sandwiches, Astroturfing, and Million Dollar Mittens

Guess who hit the big 5-0 Thursday!!! President Obama celebrated the occasion with family and friends (sorry, no Joe Biden) in the weening afternoon hours. Perhaps the biggest gift came from the Republican National Committee, which has already thrown in the towel for 2012 and is looking forward to 2016. Have a look back at prior presidential birthday bashes. Happy Birthday, from your neighbors down the street at Turner Central.

Here's to another fifty years (of snark)...

The Week That Was

Signed, sealed, and delivered. President Obama signed into law a last-minute measure to raise the debt ceiling. Both the Left and Right are wary of the creation of a supercommittee (in Washington, no less!). What will it do and who will be appointed to it? Members of the Progressive Caucus and Congressional Black Caucus aren't thTR cleaverat happy with the deal, but there's gotta be some stuff in there to like, right? Or, we can just sit back and enjoy a glass of demon drink to wash down that satan sandwich. Pundits are now asking: Did the President surrender? What a relief, Mr. Speaker. It's over. On a happier note: Rep. Gabrielle Giffords returned to the House chamber to cast her vote - her first since January.

The Dow suffered its worst sell-off since September 2008 (remember the time when Gramps pleaded for a campaign suspension?) and a better-than-expected July jobs report did little to calm investors in New York and overseas. Meanwhile, the White House is looking for calm and stability, so they tasked Grampa Joe to convince Tim Geithner to stay on board through the current term.

Mitt Romney. He had something to say about the debt ceiling. The former Governor came out of hiding and announced that if he was sitting in the White House today there wouldn't be a deal ready for his signature. "Cut, capped and balanced," Mittens said. Who's he pandering to now? You'd better step back into the ice box, sir, because a million-dollar story just broke.

Conservative pro-life groups are incensed at a new U.S. Health and Human Services rule set to go in effect next year. Starting in August 2012, private insurance plans will be required to cover women's preventive services without a co-pay or deductible. The White House emphasized that it is already illegal to use federal dollars to cover abortions, but remember, peeps, some people can never be swayed by facts.
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Now that the debt ceiling debate is over, (for now), what is the Tea Party's next target? Medicare. You may recall the hot summer of 2009, when many of these same people were lashing out against death panels and severe cuts to the entitlement program. This is too sad, yet so true. Astroturfing works wonders on and off the field. Barry's planning a bus tour later this month, so maybe he can talk some sense into them.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says that Syrian President Bashar al-Assad has lost his legitimacy as a leader. Clashes continue between anti-government protestors and al-Assad's military as the State Department reports that more than 2,000 civilians have died since the unrest began five months ago.

Are You Not Entertained?

Sarah Palin's hair salon is getting its own reality show. Yes, the hair salon in little Wasilla is worthy of a television camera. Who's behind this sure-to-be hit? TLC, of course. Vomit.

Who here has fond memories of Mr. Rogers? Too old? Too young? PBS is debuting the spin-off, Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood, next year.
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Mr. Bean and his very expensive ride were involved in an accident. Getwell.

Roseanne Barr is running for President. Run for the hills! She may have to compete with Oprah, who's all in it for Obama.

The Apocalypse is approaching. That's one reviewer's take on the Jersey Shore's Italian invasion. What are other folks saying? Meanwhile, a New York-based tuxedo company is taking a gamble with The Situation.

The complaints are pouring in before any announcement takes place. Is the Rev. Al Sharpton's next big gig a show on MSNBC?

Interweb Tomfoolery

Social media maven @NewtGingrich has more than 1.3 million followers on the Twitter. It's a real shame, though, that most of them aren't human beings. Is that a PR fail?

Oh, no, not again. The news people have been duped yet again. It has not been determined if Internet Explorer users are indeed slower. Yet.
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Wasn't Easter back in April? Police in Idaho Falls, ID have told WilliamFalkingham that he can no longer wear his bunny suit in public because he's frightening the neighbors' kids. We kid you not.

A Lithuanian mayor has a plan to deter drivers of high-priced cars who think they're above the law: Running those luxury vehicles over with a tank. Will we see Michael Bloomberg and Vince Gray following suit?

NASA still exists and they are pleased to announce that they may have evidence of flowing salt water on Mars. Now, how are y'all going to get there?

Who's REALLY to blame for the stock market crash?

Out on the Town

The market's tanking and a poorly placed band-aid has been placed on our nation's debt wound. Bleh! We're still here to add a little fun to your weekend:
Shameless Self-Promotion

Suzanne, Gloria and Abigail are out west in San Diego, CA for BlogHer '11. They're doing great work with Mom's Clean Air Force, in conjunction with the Environmental Defense Fund. They've got a fancy booth set up, so don't be afraid to go up and say hello!

Scorecard

It took a lot of hard work over the weekend, but the politicians surprised us and got something done. And if we thought that was rough, are we still teetering on the edge of another recession? Democrats are pivoting back to jobs, jobs, jobs, but we might as well be talking about the fragile global economy from now on.

Everything WILL BE OKAY if you like and follow us!

Until next time,

RoyalExecutioner







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