Thursday, December 23, 2010

12.23.10: Merry Christmas! Oops, We Mean, Uh... Happy Festivus!

You good people lucked out! Queenie, toiling away at Turner Central (in commiseration with those North Pole elves everybody's always talkin' about), is bringing you the gift of snark today -- just in time for Festivus. It's better than giving you books, right?

If you're at work: trust Queenie, she feels your pain. If you're toasty and warm at home: got your jammies? Maury on the TV? Your hot chocolate? (If it's an Irish coffee, we support you.) Time for a little holiday fun!

Liberals We Have Heard on High

We passed DADT. (Yeah, Harry! And thanks... Murkowski?) We passed START. We passed that 9/11 healthcare bill. We passed the food safety bill. We done got some stuff SIGNED yesterday, and Democrats are experiencing a great buzz -- a combination of joy and relief, with a twist of self-congratulations and the bitter aftertaste of failing on the DREAM act.

The "persistent" Obama went to Hawaii yesterday feeling pretty awesome, we imagine. He's probably sipping a fruity drink with an umbrella right now, reflecting on his legacy while the kids play by the pool. Aaahhh.

But he's not necessarily the comeback kid. Not yet, anyway. He's got a lot of challenges facing him after this vacation, and these victories -- while awesome -- are nothing compared to that whole "economy" thing. (Don't mean to get all Debbie Downer on ya, folks, but someone's got to stay a liiiittle grounded!) So rest up and recharge, Barry -- we need you to come in swinging in January!

Oh, Come, All Ye Republicans

The party of NO, NO, DEAR GOD, NO, however, is planning their retaliation by sucking the funding out of healthcare and other new programs in the name of reducing the deficit, and by going on the offense in the new year. They're pretty pumped about redistricting too (although The Fix argues that it ain't so great.)

Despite all that "power," some are predicting doomsday for Repubs in the face of the country's growing Latino population. And with focus like this, we'd like to revel in some doomsday predictions too. Doom! Doooom! (Or, if you prefer, muerte! Mueeerrrte!)

John "Grandpa McGrumps" McCain has successfully voted against every single policy priority from the White House this year, and he's celebrating with a wave of bad press. My, my.

This made the rounds: Sarah Palin would never kill an animal for anything but food. Right, Bear-skin-rug-on-her-floor? And, Oprah is the Queen of Backhanded Compliments -- check out what she said about Sarah.

Joe Miller's campaign: TKO. Seriously, Joe, this is just embarrassing. For you.

The Twelve Days of Lame Duck

We're almost done here, folks, and we're looking ahead to the dark days of January, when Boehner triumphantly sobs his way to the House as Speaker. Check out Ben Stein's seven lessons of 2010 and take #5 to heart.

What's next on the agenda? Talk of filibuster reform has hit the airwaves, as Dems are pushing for a way to capture that magic unicorn in the new session. It looks like it could be reality, since Mitch McConnell has been declaring what an a** he plans to be for the past few weeks now. Speaking of Mitch, is he losing his touch?

We'll see what Republicans will be sipping in the new year, and we'll hope for just a few more things on the wish list (since we've been very good boys and girls, of course!). Immigration reform, anyone?

Snark! The Herald Angels Sing

Oh, Restaurant Week, oh, Restaurant Week,
It's been a tough recession.
Oh, Restaurant Week, oh, Restaurant Week,
We have a small confession:
We can't afford the usual meals,
But thank goodness for prix fixe deals,
Oh, Restaurant Week, oh, Restaurant Week,

We've made our reservation!

Queenie would like to take a moment and thank each and every one of you for snarking with us in 2010. It's been a fabulous year as your reigning Queen. (And she especially appreciated the curtsies, bows and fanfare over the past 12 months!)

Onward, kittens, to 2011!

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