Friday, November 19, 2010

11.19.10: Trashing Steele, Protecting Your Junk and Killing E-mail Forever

We don't know about you, but the thought of all this upcoming holiday cheer is just exhausting. Hasn't there been enough going on already? But ohhh, no, we just gotta get in those lame duck votes and break our TVs when Bristol starts dancing and remember the war in Afghanistan... UGH. Can't a Queen get a break around here?

Luckily, next week is a short week. Expect a snarky hors d'ouerve before your Thanksgiving feast! But your regularly-scheduled Snark Hour is already here, so... onward!

Forecast

Axe is leaving us, and guess who's coming to the White House -- that's right, former Obama '08 campaign manager David Plouffe! Can this new face set the White House back on course in time for 2012? Also, another former Clinton official is in the running to replace Larry Summers. Amidst all this, Barry is taking a lot of friendly fire this week. Carville told him to grow a pair, Soros says it might be time for an alternative come 2012, and Senate Democrats aren't happy, to say the least. Chin up, bro! Your boy Biden is on the case in this candid interview with GQ, and this GM thing is pretty helpful.

Obama had hoped to seal the deal on a great foreign policy achievement with a nuclear arms treaty between the U.S. and Russia. Despite public support, it doesn't look like John Cornyn is going to permit a victory for the President, among other things. Hillary is on the offensive, urging senators to ratify the treaty. Obama is overseas again to attend the NATO summit. He'll also be meeting with leaders of the European Union before heading back home tomorrow.

DADT may finally be on its way out (yeah, whatever, we've been saying that for WEEKS). Joe Lieberman says he has enough votes and Reid would like to bring the defense authorization bill, which includes the repeal, to the floor after Thanksgiving. The DREAM Act may also see the light before the end of the year. House Democrats are seeking to hold votes to extend tax cuts to only the middle class. (By the way, guys, the public supports you.) Reid is "playing hardball" (most likely to garner headlines that say he's "playing hardball"), but the possibility that Dems would let tax cuts for the wealthy go through while letting unemployment benefits expire is... shocking.

Soon-to-be speaker John Boehner hosted a ritzy dinner for new GOPers and their spouses. Boehner urged incoming members to adhere to true conservative ideas, preferably not those espoused by the last GOP House majority, lest they tick off the Tea Party callers from the island of misfit toys. Peeps, we aren't making this shit up: Anti-"Obamacare" Rep.-elect Andy Harris demanded to know why his government-run health care wouldn't kick in immediately. Yet two Reps are taking the opposite stand and refusing their government plan. On that salary, we suppose we could afford to do that too, huh? Let's see how the Teabaggers run things for a few weeks in January. Of course, we Americans may never see the same entertaining politics as Argentinians do.

It's getting rougher these days for our favorite RNC comedian Michael Steele. The committee's political director resigned earlier this week and blasted out a scathing e-mail blaming money woes for not being able to take full advantage of an angry electorate. Several potential 2012 candidates are calling for new leadership, but Michael's peeps insist there's still a route to victory. Didn't we hear something similar from Joe Miller?

Has the bird flu returned?

The Week That Was

No surprising news out of Washington: Harry Reid and Mitch McConnell were re-elected to their respective leadership positions by their colleagues. Nancy Pelosi managed to avert a potentially damaging outcome between Steny Hoyer and Jim Clyburn. The latter will assume the newly-created "assistant leader" and will be the third-highest ranked Democrat in the House. Pelosi herself overcame a relatively easily challenge to lead the Democrats in the minority.

Charlie Rangel's ethics trial began with drama on Monday when the New York congressman walked out of his first hearing. His constituents gave him an enormous vote of confidence on Nov. 2, but it looks like his colleagues aren't about to let him off the hook. Rangel was convicted of 11 of 13 ethics violations by a House ethics subcommittee. The lead counsel of the ethics panel recommended censure for the veteran lawmaker.

Lisa Murkowski became only the second U.S. senator win a write-in campaign. Other write-in candidates such as Donald Duck didn't fare as well (a shame, really). Joe Miller is STILL busy filing lawsuit after lawsuit just to see if he could still lose this thing. Murkowski also gave a stinging critique of Sarah's ambitions and her alleged hate of governing. Presidential material, indeed! Trump is more than willing to take her on, if only for the PR exposure.

The White House unveiled its plans for Afghanistan -- we won't be leaving until at least 2014. Some military commanders are worried the date will be extended even further into the future.

Bad news for women and those looking for work this week. (Pelosi: told you so!). Senate Republicans voted unanimously against the Fair Paycheck Act while their House colleagues gave the middle finger to the struggling unemployed -- just in time for the holidays. Food safety legislation also failed to win passage before the Senate adjourned. Sen. Feinstein had to pull her amendment banning cancer-causing chemicals in baby bottles. Great priorities you have, Repubs.

Obama awarded the Medal of Honor to Army Staff Sgt. Salvatore Giunta, for his heroic actions in Afghanistan. He's the first living recipient of both the Afghanistan war and since 1976 to receive the honor.

Dubya was at SMU to break ground for his presidential library. Also at the event was his much leaner Veep, Dick Cheney. The infamous "Mission Accomplished" banner will surely draw crowds. The book tour is still chugging along...

Just about everyone is mad as hell at the TSA and full-body scanners. (New fake Twitter account alert! And don't touch Charlie's junk!) Shep's planning on suing if he gets into an awkward situation and bloggers are calling for kilts... It's already gotten physical at Indianapolis International. Penn (of Penn & Teller) wrote a great piece about his own ordeal. Janet's call for calm has gone unnoticed.

People are going loco for Four Loko in advance of a possible ban of the alcoholic energy drink. Kids, we know this is trendy and all, but it smells like fetid Skittles and tastes even worse. Is it really worth it?

Are You Not Entertained?

Maybe you watched the premier of a certain "reality series"/campaign launch? Sarah's "Sarah Palin's Alaska" garnered five million viewers, no doubt in the same voting bloc as those "voting" for Bristol. BTW, watch the worst (?) PSA in history here, brought to you by Bristol and The Situation. The show is so hilarious that Fox News pundits trashed Sarah's reality debut... but, uh, not on the air. Don't listen to that darn lamestream media, you guys! (PS: In case you've missed the Rove vs. Palin fight, it got even better this week.) And (no more Palin, we promise) don't miss Tina Fey's censored comments after accepting the Mark Twain Prize.

Justin Bieber! New movie! Bleh, whatever, we much prefer Kathy Griffin's version. Stores are stalking up like mad on Bieber merchandise in advance of the holiday season.

Michael Jackson has a new single! OR DOES HE.

And, hey, we were waiting for someone to play the Nazi card this week. Turns out Roger Ailes was happy to take on the challenge.

So, who's going to admit they went to the premiere of the latest Harry Potter? (Ed. Note- QUEENIE IS!) The series might be showing its age, and Daniel Radcliffe says 10 years is enough.

Interweb Tomfoolery

[Your name]@facebook.com is the latest venture borne from the social media giant. Will you trust them with your precious e-mails and IMs? Um, don't. And beware of potential scams. In similar news, our Supreme Court has yet to assimilate itself to the "Facebook world." The Social Network was just too much for Justice Breyer. Oops, and, here we go: as of yesterday, MySpace has officially given up. R.I.P., you guys. At least you tried to go out with dignity.

Hey, wanna see Zuckerberg's Friendster profile?

Soooo, Obama spent part of his time in Asia cuddling with robot seals. There's not much more we can add to that.

Keep it classy, Bristol and Willow.

Just a couple months from retirement and Sen. Dodd so wanted to go out in style, on Twitter.

Booze -- great now, as it was 11,500 years ago. Who would have thought that civilization depended on it!

Parents, please show these to your adolescent daughters: Advice from a Cartoon Princess, featuring Snow White, Ariel and Belle.

Out on the Town

Queenie has been eyeing this show for quite a while: The Frames are hitting 930 Club on Sunday. Also musically-exciting is the U Street Music Hall benefit for Girls Rock DC tonight. And you can go culture it up with flamenco music during the Sixth Annual Flamenco Fest at Tivoli Square.

Foodies! Crumbs -- the NYC-famous bakery -- is now open in DC. Yeah, yeah, the cupcake trend has gotten old, but we promise this one is worth it, and won't nearly be as overcrowded as Georgetown. Even more exciting is the Capital Bacon and Beer Bash at National Harbor on Saturday, which is exactly what it sounds like. Also on Saturday, you can take the kiddies to explore food in art at the American Art Museum. Festivals are back this weekend, it seems, since the kids can also see their own International Film Fest in Maryland on both Saturday and Sunday -- only $15 for a two-day pass. The Jewish Folk Arts festival is also in Maryland this weekend.

Miss the World Cup? We do, too; that's why we'll be hitting up South Africa Kicks at GW, beginning this weekend. And we'd never tell you not to go to a Caps game -- catch them (hopefully) schooling the Flyers on Friday.

Finally, who wants to dress up as Edgar Allen Poe? That's right, EVERYONE.

Scorecard

The tax cut thing ain't going away, and Joe Miller sure is desperate. But who could have predicted the death of MySpace AND Four Loko in the same week? Rough times, people, rough times.

At least we still have Bristol.

See you next, kiddos! And Happy Turkey Day -- if you have awesome recipes, you KNOW Queenie would love to see them.

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