Friday, October 22, 2010

The TR: Defending Your Manhood, Remembering Spell-Check and Ack! Zombies!

All that fear in the air isn't just the mid-term elections -- Halloween is right around the corner, kids! Queenie hasn't decided on a costume yet. There are just so many choices for women these days... (sexy fast food worker?!). We'd already picked up some flank steak for our Lada Gaga ensemble, but looks like that idea's out (BBQ, anyone?). Christine O'Donnell won't be a witch this year AND stole our Dorothy idea (although Glinda the Good Witch is available). What's a Queen to do?

OMG... perfect.

Forecast

You know what, Dems? Rendell is right. We ARE a bunch of wusses. He's been in the press a lot lately for all kinds of, er, different things, but we'll be damned if he doesn't tell it like it is. Why didn't we form our OWN third parties and try to- oh. Sorry, Rachel Maddow and Jill Lepore, you were saying?

Despite the pessimism (warranted or not), Obama and Michelle (and Bill "You Still Need Me, People" Clinton) are on the trail to close that enthusiasm gap. Pundits and political nerds are drooling over the campaign races and fundraising stats (Dems are really ridin' this Chamber of Commerce thing hard, eh?) and the consensus is still out. John Boehner is front and center, leading the way for Repubs to marshal this Tea Party business by providing funding for them from Wall Street. Oh, of course he is. It just makes sense for candidates who rail against big government and corporate interests to take this money and toe the Repub party line. Right?

Less than two weeks out and some candidates are ready to rumble (literally). Joe Miller's private security people roughed up and handcuffed a poor blogger who wanted to ask the candidate question. His two main opponents quickly pounced and it looks like his campaign might be in a tailspin. (By the by -- East Germany? Really, Joe?) Political junkies are going to be up all night watching Alaska. Earl Perlmutter metaphorically shot himself in the foot by actually slapping his opponent on-air. We know it's been a tough few months, but really? And Sharron Angle, you make it incredibly hard to be snarky. How can we possibly mock you when you are so effing ridiculous on your own? Same goes for you, Christine. Even Harry Reid is bemused as he is "forced" to defend his manhood.

None of these people have anything on Stephen Broden, however. He's crossing that thin line between crazy-funny and crazy-scary.

Important questions: are you sure you know who you're voting for? And, are you paying attention to Social Security, folks? You probably should.

DADT is on hold -- wait, just kidding, it's not. For now. Wait, what?! We're a little irritated waiting for this thing to finally happen, and we're not the only ones.

International news update: we're selling military aircraft to Saudi Arabia. Don't expect too many people to be talking about that, though. And what's up with the wave of "positive" press about reconciliation in Afghanistan? The positivity won't last when the Wikileaks scoop hits.

Our dearest Republican Informant would like to remind everyone: don't forget to pre-order your copy of Decision Points!

The Week That Was

Juan Williams found himself looking at Rick Sanchez's shadow. NPR fired him after making some controversial comments about flying with Muslims on, where else, FOX News, who continues to welcome him with open arms. Remember, kids -- Williams is no angel. GOP candidates and mouthpieces are jockeying to twist this to fit in with their various campaigns, which, of course, is just good politickin', while Williams tries to remain the hero. But this is also a NPR-PR nightmare, as Ezra was so kind to point out. Related: cotton pickin' racism. How could someone say that and think it's okay? How?! Queenie can't wrap her head around it.

The final New York gubernatorial debate took place this week. But who cares what the Democratic or Republican candidates had to say -- all we heard was Jimmy McMillan of the Rent is 2 Damn High Party! His rent may not be THAT high, but, dammit, he has an opinion and you're gonna hear about it. Just LOOK at those mutton chops. And Meg Whitman's campaign accidentally made a viral video -- check out the slip and learn to double-check your links from now on. You know what, while you're at it, work on your fact-checking in general. Right, Sarah?

Christine wishes she could take back the witch stuff, but we think she's more embarrassed over her First Amendment follies, or maybe because she can't name a Democratic senator (Hillary doesn't count). Her campaign's also been doing a little scrubbing and it looks like Chris Coons is well on his way to victory. Good job, Delaware!

Bad news to Gulf Coast residents and their off-shore workers. A BP attorney says his company is looking to cap claims at $75 million. Meanwhile, Transocean, the company that owned the doomed rig, wants to severely cut pay to injured workers.

France is in turmoil over pensions and a possible raise in retirement age. Protests that began more than a week ago have resulted in fuel and electricity shortages. Riots also forced Lady Gaga had to cancel her Paris tour.

Are You Not Entertained?

Set the DVRs! Barry is on a press BLITZ -- Mythbusters and Daily Show appearances are coming up.

Biebs was allegedly involved in a wittle bitty brawl... with a 12-year old. Ever heard of "picking on someone else of your size?" Oh... our bad. Related: you must have known that he released his autobiography recently, but we loved Canadian actor Gordon Pincent's rendition of Bieb's literary masterpiece.

Bristol bombs on Dancing with the Stars... in a gorilla suit. Isn't she glad Sarah and her chopper aren't around!

BasilMarceaux.com has returned!! This time, as a film critic.

Safe to say that Willow "Spawn of Will Smith" Smith is the most famous nine-year-old in the country right now. Her song has been stuck in Queenie's head for days, and the music video has resulted in mash-ups, memes and response videos on every corner of the web. Our favorite, obviously, involves Sesame Street.

Teehee... Zach G. finally gets a taste of his own medicine. And South Park did an amazing spoof of Inception.

The Night of Too Many Stars! Raising money for charity while giggling -- it was win-win. Catch the highlights here.

Interweb Tomfoolery

Journos have been trying to embrace the social media revolution with open arms, but there is such a thing as taking it too far, as this FOX station in Dallas demonstrates. But they can't ignore it, either! To wit: the NY Times now has more Twitter followers than subscribers.

Newsweek is looking for its next editor. Could it be YOU?! Seriously. They're asking. You should probably respond.


Want to win an interview with Dubya? First of all, you must be a Facebooker. We're guessing the subsequent screening process will be intense.

A father-son team sent their iPhone where none has gone before. (Our beloved Republican Informant, who just happens to be an iPhone hater, points out that Android did it first. Fine, Informant. Fine. But OUR link had a much better video, WITH cute children.) In a related experiment, Rick Astley also made it into the stratosphere.

For some reason this week, The Internet embraced animated GIFs and everyone from MTV to Slate to Jezebel to Dooce started making lists of them that have trouble loading on most peoples' computers. Check 'em out and try not to snort your afternoon coffee out of your nose.

A Michael Jackson parody mocking Apple products that's surprisingly well done? We don't know why this exists, but enjoy. (PS: MR. PRESIDENT! SIGN MY IPAD!)

Even if you don't know how to use The Internet, Virginia Beach GOP Chairman David Bartholomew, you probably shouldn't send racist jokes via any communication method, be it telegraph, smoke signal, snail mail or otherwise.

Out on the Town

Last chance to hang out before the town dissolves into a frenzy of Halloween parties and Jon Stewart sightings. Which, hey, is totally fine with us!

Musically, there's not a TON going on, but a trip to Baltimore might be in order to catch Bad Religion. Or maybe a trip to U Street Music Hall for some dubstep madness?

Festival-wise, we're more lucky. Enviros, go hang with Ralph Nader at the Green Festival. Bros, journey into Virginia for Brewfest. Geeks, head to the Mall for the Science & Engineering Expo. Lords and ladies, it's your last chance to eat turkey legs at the Renne Faire. Drama queens, you must be at Arena Stage Homecoming this weekend. Everybody else, you've GOT to want to do something at Zest Fest. Still not inspired? Go see Louis C.K. perform and make it a laugh-fest (har-har).

Oops -- we lied. The Halloween thing is happening already. The National Zoo is starting their fright fest this weekend (Saturday is already sold out so get the kiddies in tonight). While you're planning ahead, prepare yourself for the upcoming zombie invasions with a Zombie Self-Defense Course in Herndon (it's free!). Top off the night with a night-time zipline and ropes course because... well, we don't know, but might as well. On Saturday, the Udvar-Hazy Center offers a family-style, space-themed celebration (that's a little bit of a stretch, isn't it?) and trick-or-treating.

Not into any of this spooky stuff? Go hide out at the Caps game. Ovechkin will keep you safe from any zombies, we promise! He's tough and carries a big stick.

Scorecard

Well, now! Looks like former Turner Central members can be famous, too! Check out Jen Dickson in this AP article from earlier this month (and then leave comments about how she and her hubby should totally move back to DC!).

It's almost crunch-time, Dems... are you ready?

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