Friday, September 24, 2010

9.24.10: A (New) Pledge to America, Gaga Gets Political, and Elmo Loves to Name Drop

Oh, man. Some days just aren't as up to snuff as others. Which is why, when Queenie has a hair-tastrophe, she throws on a tiara or two and gets on with her day. Hillary, however, had a different way of approaching that sort of problem. Hey, happens to everybody!

Big news? Not really. But we were just as snarky about Obama's mom jeans, remember?

Speaking of snark...

Forecast

We're putting off the vote on the Bush tax cut extensions until after the elections. The House may adjourn early to get back to their districts ASAP. But what will they do when they get there? Democrats have an impressive record but can't get it together to drum up popular support, and now they just seem depressed. Where are the cheerleaders?! Karl Rove and his minions are busy raking in millions from 100% grassroots supports. As Queenie's Republican informant so eloquently puts it, the sky is falling yet again!

And how. The "Young Guns" have taken center stage with their fresh and awesome ideas for 'murica! Except... these aren't exactly "fresh." Read it here if you "want to induce vomiting." One of its authors has made some damn good money "helping" the "average" American. The Party of No is looking for a serious, adult conversation, peeps. Note: Shutting a lumber store for an announcement is not good for business. Boehner'll be on (shocker) FOX this weekend to discuss. Please, do tell us how you are going to pay for all those tax cuts! (Dems: please, please, please jump on this opportunity.) Plus, is the librul, lamestream media about to drop a big one on John Boehner? No! The lies, damned lies!

Education is on everyone's minds these days -- watch out for Rhee and other edu-juggernauts on NBC this week, and tune in for Obama's commercial-free interview with Mr. Matt Lauer at 8 a.m. on Monday.

Run, Rahm, Run! Obama's chief of staff is on the verge of making a run in the Windy City. Will this be his legacy? Larry Summers is returning to Harvard and David Axelrod is headed out the door in the spring to join Obama '12. Can we get a woman in there, please?

Wonks have been drooling over the excerpts released from Woodward's latest, Obama's Wars. Will you be pre-ordering?

Sarah says she'll be FORCED TO RUN if no one else is willing to step up. So, we guess we can breathe a sigh of relief? Well, maybe not Jeff Perry, a Tea Partier who took a stand against the Mama Grizzly. OFF WITH HIS HEAD! She's playing the middle-name card to stir up those grizzlies.

The Week That Was

The National Bureau of Economic Research declared that the Great Recession ended in June of 2009. We feel for the millions still looking for employment. We think their asessment is WAY off the mark.

Our new favorite lady candidate Christine O'Donnell, (sorry Sharron, you'll have to mock Sarah's kid elsewhere; although your expertise on fundraising via conservative media was quite enlightening), is all but avoiding the media as more of her financial discrepancies are revealed. Her former campaign staffers have unleashed a torrent of attacks on her, as well. And what's with the witchcraftery, Christine? Are ya comparing notes with Bobby? BTW, did you hear about the post-forum Reid-Angle brawl?

Obama was in New York and gave a speech to the U.N. General Assembly about Middle East peace. He didn't have awkward run-in with Iran's president, but he had some sharp words later on. Michelle was hostess to the many spouses of world leaders, and made one chicken a celebrity.

The first changes to health insurance began this week, and breathless blog posts detailed all the details (hah) so everyone is clear. The health insurance industry, in return, declared that it does not like children.

Is Lady Gaga a better politician than Obama? She was in Maine to protest the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. The Senate had a major fail and voted not to proceed to debate the Defense Authorization Act of 2011. Looks like Gaga and the meat costume couldn't secure the final votes. Someone's not telling in Saxby Chambliss' office.

Tea Partier Joe Miller condemns the federal government all the time -- but folks, times are different than before (obviously). He's just so angry at himself for taking socialist federal farm subsidies in the 90s! Oh, and he's hitting the D.C. fundraising circuit in the weeks ahead. Outsider, our ass. And Lisa, you can't make history if the voters get your name wrong. Fellow Tea Party victim Mike Castle is also considering a write-in campaign. Finally, the Tea Party Convention in Vegas has been cancelled, to our dismay.

Obama went to church. A Christian church! ...Why is this news?! In other news-that-is-not-news-but-dammit-somehow-it-gets-coverage, Boehner has never used a tanning bed. Sure, sure.

The Vatican is "perplexed and surprised" by newly exposed money laundering allegations. Yup, nothing wrong here, move along!

Were You Not Entertained?

Were you glued to the tube for Bristol's latest foray into stardom? Behind the scenes, security was tight. Sister Sarah was priority if anything happened. Poor Bristol. (PS: Queenie was more entertained by the Situation -- finally humbled by a pair of dancing shoes!)

Thanks, Politico, for extending the Salihis' obsession with fame. Michaele is scheduled to co-host on the Today show. Is NBC that desperate?

The Joaquin Phoenix two-year experiment was just that... an experiment. Can he salvage what's left of his career? Will Casey Affleck's not-as-successful career recover? Do we care?!

Bieber is facing some Twitter vitriol (Twitriol?) thanks to gallery photos and videos of him making out with someone in the back of a car. We're a little angrier about him casting himself as the Kurt Cobain of today. Oh, yes. He did. Will his CSI appearance bring back that loving press?

Stephen Colbert testified this morning in front of the Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship, Refugees, Border Security, and International Law. Twitter was abuzz and live-casts were inundated -- and, although it was a bit of a sideshow (corn packer?) and he was less serious than he should have been, Queenie appreciates the attention it brings to illegal immigration and farmworkers. Hate as much as you want, but who would have tuned in to this otherwise?

Hopefully you squeezed in some time to watch Stewart go head-to-head with Bill O. Despite the backstage banter, we don't expect to see O'Reilly grace us with his presence at the October rallies.

Interweb Tomfoolery

You can blame a 17-year old Australian for this week's Twitter security breach, although it was originally discovered in Japan. Gibbsy had some technical difficulties Tuesday morning.

So Katy Perry had a guest spot on Sesame Street, until the video leaked and everyone flipped out over her cleavage. It was actually a cute video! Elmo thought so, and would like to see Ms. Katy back. Queenie didn't see the big deal -- 1. it wasn't THAT revealing (way to hyper-sexualize, America), and 2. is a Barbie doll any worse? And how is a True Blood parody more acceptable?!

Can you decipher Chuck Grassley's tweet? Ohio Democratic Party chair Chris Redfern drops the f-bomb to describe the Tea Party and he's unapologetic. The folks over at 4chan got their revenge on the Teabaggers. Karma sucks!

Did you survive the Facebook outage?! Hilarious: top reasons why it crashed, courtesy of Twitter.

If you're still looking for a viral marketing hit, flacks, don't forget that bear costumes are QUITE popular. Although sometimes viral success is completely spontaneous, and, when that happens, we encourage you to milk those 15 minutes for as long as possible -- especially you, Antoine Dodson! If you want to learn more, this will help.

Out on the Town

Another busy weekend, ducklings! The heat wave will last through Sunday, so take advantage of the sun while you still can. How about Open Days at four gorgeous, private DC gardens?

The Festival Report (you should probably leave Spot at home) is a big one today. Why don't these people coordinate better? How can we possibly go to ALL of these? For starters, there's a flippin' festival happy hour: the Mid-Atlantic Red Fruit Festival is tonight. Tomorrow, trek out to good old VA for Clarendon Day and run a 10k if you're feeling extra chipper. The National Book Festival on the Mall will feature Barry and Michelle (h'ray!) AND Isabel Allende (one of Queenie's faves). Barracks Row (over in SE) has their own Fall Festival, with a military chefs cook-off and Redskins cheerleaders. On Sunday, practice your espaƱol at the massive Fiesta DC in Columbia Heights.

Of course, Queenie has mixed feelings about her Saturday. Missing three awesome parties? Lame. Missing them because she has tickets to the Virgin Mobile FreeFest? Super awesome! If you're going, let her know in the comments (and maybe buy your humble monarch a drink, hmm?). If she survives, she'd looove a trip to National Harbor to watch one of the great movie classics on Sunday, of course!

Wonkette had a lovely run-down of several pig roast style events for you foodies. And, hey, hipsters and record collectors! The DC Record Fair is back! And if this all isn't enough for you, check out Field Music and Titus Andronicus playing on H Street, OR go to that Cirque du Soileil show everyone's talking about. Y'know, with the bugs.

Scorecard

We're betting we know how most of you wonderful people will rank on this, but want to find out just what kind of liberal you are? Queenie got "Social Justice Crusader," who believes in "preventing neo-Confederate conservative troglodytes from rolling back fifty years of civil rights gains." Not exactly shocking news, but accurate, no? (Conservatives, don't worry -- we've got you covered too.)

Happy Friday!

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