Friday, September 10, 2010

9.10.10: Presidential Pressers, Blasphemous Bonfires and, Oops, Google Did It Again

Queenie spent part of this morning listening to Obama defend his economic policies. Yes, it's been THAT kind of Friday and her brain is tired. What did she learn from Professor President? 1. Man, he is a TALKER; 2. Press conferences on Fridays don't really "change the convo;" and, 3. Feisty reporters are feisty. Check out the recap here.

We're sure your Septembers are rolling along quite busily so far, so take a much-needed break and snark with us, won't you? And then, OMG, get back to work! "It's only two more workdays 'til Monday," as they say!

Forecast

Obama's going to be very busy in the weeks ahead. He's scheduled rallies across the country to get you folks back in the mood to vote. Where have y'all been? The president will also announce his replacement to chair his Council of Economic Advisers. And, hmm, he'll be in Sudan for a UN meeting on Sept. 24. What with Congress returning on Monday, it's going to be a SMIDGE hectic.

We're two months out and the political firing squads are forming in a hurry. It's going to be hell the day after (and, thanks to redistricting, for possibly another few years). Lisa doesn't want Joe Miller to be the end of her Senate career. She's been talking with the Libertarian Party candidate to do a switch-a-roo, and may have had a look at the totally energized Joe Miller HQ. GOP'ers have found the ultimate weapon to siphon Dem votes: the random hobo. A fleeing Michele Bachmann can't be a good sign. Charlie Crist takes it to Sesame Street with his new ad. Our favorite lobbyist-basher Sharron Angle is headed to Washington to mingle with lobbyists to convince everyone she'll be a mainstream senator.

Chicago May Richard Daley says he's not seeking re-election. Here comes Rahm? He's got a thumbs up from Barry. Rahm wants Valerie Jarrett to replace him -- whomever Obama chooses will likely be an insider.

This Saturday marks the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. President Obama will be at the Pentagon and Joe is headed to New York. First Lady Michelle Obama and her immediate predecessor, Laura Bush, will be commemorating the day in Shanksville, PA, at the site of the future Flight 93 memorial. (Condi will be remembered for her yelling and Secret Service booting "non-essentials.")

The Week That Was

Egads, today's been kind of a progressive's wet dream, no? U.S. District Court Judge Virginia Phillips ruled the military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy unconstitutional; embryonic stem cell research has been un-banned; book burnings have been canceled (see below); tax cuts for rich hopefully won't be extended... and Arnold Schwarzenegger made us LOL.

Obama announced a $50 billion infrastructure package aimed at shoring up the sagging economy by creating jobs. He's also calling for $200 billion to help small businesses and another $50 billion for R&D tax credits. The president was in Cleveland to sell his plan and hammer his opponents -- John Boehner's publicity is certainly on the up! GOP response: We can't give the Prez a victory. (Some Dems' response: Neither can we.) Barry has been in the spotlight and on the 'tube all week (we especially love it when he gets all gesture-y and starts pointing everywhere), but we're worried his message won't be getting through.

Pastor Terry Jones has decided to cancel that fun family bonfire he had scheduled -- in return for the NYC community center being moved. We think he's milking his 15 minutes of fame for the little that it's worth. Now will Westboro take over? Obama says it'll endanger Americans, Hillary says it's a disgraceful act and the Vatican is calling it a bad move for religious tolerance. Even Sarah is against it! In other words, Terry, NO one likes what you've planned. And, ugh, burning Qurans to declare that Islam is evil is NOT parallel to building a community center near Ground Zero -- we don't care who makes it their new campaign strategy. Tennessee also has a case of extreme nuttery.

Sarah was a guest on Beck a few days ago and showed off her new job. And London, we are so, so, so sorry for releasing the crazies on your streets.

Lessons learned for all? In a rare admission, former Cuban leader Fidel Castro said that communism hasn't worked out well for his country. And Iran announced it was releasing one of three hikers jailed for more than a year. BP released it's first preliminary report on the Deepwater Horizon disaster. The company took responsibility -- uh, kind of.

The debate over marijuana legalization has been all the rage in California. A (former) staffer for Barbara Boxer got ahead of himself on Capitol Hill. What an epic way to end a career!

This week's interesting read: Why Americans Believe that Obama is Muslim.

Are You Not Entertained?

It's official: Larry King's replacement, Piers Morgan, of America's Got Talent (who knew?), will take over in January.

Al Roker sure is setting the standard high for premium newscasting.

This isn't really entertainment news, but, since we don't have a sports section, Tom Brady gets to live here. He's fine after a car accident, but what we wanted to bring you was ESPN's decision to let Coors Light sponsor their Pulitzer-quality report about it.

Ah, CNN -- you really DO care about the news. Who else would present a report on boobies, and one boy's love for them, with so much gravitas?

Did you catch Colbert's Iraq special? Troops were treated with real grass, beer and a vice-presidential hot dog vendor.

Kim Jong-Il is making big bucks from News Corp. Hear that, FNC fans? Hah!

Queenie likes to mock PBR as the champagne of heavily-bearded, skinny-jeaned, bike-ridin' hipsters. In China, however, it's been reborn, and is actually sipped from a champagne flute. Who knew?

Ray Lewis has taken over the Old Spice commercials -- yeah, yeah, jet-powered ravens are cool, but why is he dressed like a cloud? On a related note, we knew baby carrots were extreme, but THIS extreme? Finally, can someone PLEASE explain why this IKEA store released and filmed 100 cats running around their furniture and getting stuck in places?! Viral marketing is hard :(.

Interweb Tomfoolery

Were you like us and wondering what was going on with Google this week? Were you wracked with curiosity about all the balls jokes? Say hello to instant search. Search as you search! ...Unless you're searching for "penis." Also out this week: YouTube Time Machine (meh), the NYT's latest attempt to stay relevant and Apple wants a bite of that Google-dominated news cycle. (Good thing, 'cause there's about to be a LEGAL DOWNLOADS THROWDOWN.)

We have yet another epic campaign video we'd like to share with you. (No, he didn't win the nomination.) An impersonator impersonates a Rand Paul staffer, while a Washington Post reporter responds to a non-existent congressman's Tweet.

Not exactly new news, but we need more Dems to tweet! Obvious key to Twitter success? Get Justin Bieber to RT you. His Tweets alone take up 3% of Twitter server space.

Online dating service OKCupid has taken racial profiling up a notch.

Tea Party scams run amok. We're not sure if we're supposed to be happy about this. You've got real competition now, Beck!

Out on the Town

It's gonna be a fun weekend, folks! NOT ONLY do we get to hang out on the Mall with persons of questionable political inclination, but we get to party it up all over the place.

We still haven't removed the last lawn chairs from Beckapalooza, and this Sunday the Teabaggers are back in town. Remember to bring your cameras and keep your ears alert to hilarious NEW conspiracy theories. Think they'll be hitting up the Bruce Springsteen tribute in Falls Church? (Also: will there be a Colbert-a-thon? The possibility is growiiiing!)

Art nerds among you: it's party time. Check out three shows/parties at galleries around town this weekend, and DON'T MISS the free Beautiful Minds exhibit/party/festival/whatever celebrating the opening of The Yards Park on the Riverfront. (Phew, that was a mouthful!) The Kennedy Center is offering an open house celebrating Mexico on Saturday. And this weekend is the perfect time to catch the DC Shorts Film Festival before it ends on the 16th -- get your tickets (even for the free films) to guarantee your seat!

Fashionistas? Well, if you're a certified fashionista, you should already know about Fashion Night Out tonight. Georgetown will be PACKED. Foodies? Maryland Seafood Festival. $12. Enough said. (Don't eat seafood? Fine, go eat your vegetables instead. EXTREME BABY CARROTS!) General revelers? The Adams Morgan Day festival happens on Sunday -- avoid the protesters/counter-protesters and go investigate one of our favorite street parties.

Scorecard

Queenie's Republican informant -- when not gleefully shouting things about "November!" and "Ground Zero!" -- actually made a remark she agreed with. "I love following weekly polls," he said. "'Sky no longer falling! All is SAVED!' After last week, when it was, 'Measure those drapes, b*tches!'" It's a crazy news cycle out there, my dude.

See you next Friday!

No comments: