Friday, July 16, 2010

The TR: Ignore the Polls, Block the Flow and Don't Blame Us -- Use Some Duct Tape

The slightly cooler weather wasn't of much help to the poor folks at Dupont Circle on Monday and Tuesday. We're not melting this week, but, if you thought last week was terrible, have a look at this. We're doomed! Haha, at least we aren't having any earthquakes, ri- oh.

Chins up, dearies. Recycle some stuff, take some public transportation and hold tight for some snark!

Forecast

Barry is taking a hit in the polls and Robert Gibbs conceded that Repubs may take the House in November. We sure hope not. Note these reasons and a new push to stay optimistic, you progressives! Obama hopes Americans don't have selective memory (although we're not so sure about that one). No doubt Republican candidates will be helped out by Sarah, whose PAC is raking in the dough (check out the 2012 standings so far, and then wonder why we're looking this far ahead -- and why John Boehner is jealous). There's also a new Palin bio coming out, targeted at them 9 to 12-year old intellectual giants (gotta get 'em while they're young, right?). Meanwhile, the DNC is looking to curb the influence of superdelegates and shift the primary calendar around for 2012.

Really, Michelle?

We're watching the campaigns closely these days. Sharron Angle is quite a catch, no? The mayor of Sparks, who just happens to be Republican, endorsed Reid, and Ms. Angle received the backing of a GOP icon, after being told to stop scaring the bejesus out of everyone. Zinger from beyond the grave: Did you know that obituaries can be used as a rallying cry? Ouch. Louisiana's David "Diaper" Vitter spent time at a town hall cheering on the birthers, but he claims he's not one of them. (Couldn't make that canceled rally, though). And by the way, how angry is our favorite maverick John McCain these days? Very angry. (Don't even get him started on immigration, y'all.)

Next week the Senate is expected to vote on extending jobless benefits to the unemployed -- after Senator Byrd's successor is sworn in.

Elana Kagan's confirmation is moving along, and by that we mean Republicans are looking to do everything in their power to derail her. Lindsey might be the only GOP'er to support her in the end.

Is BP finally going to catch a breather in the coming days? BP says the newly installed cap has stopped the gushing. We're gonna wait a bit longer to see how things go, just like Obama (who is urging caution before celebration). In the meantime, Tony Hayward is being immortalized as the "BP CEO Inaction Figure." Also, did BP have a hand in the release of the Lockerbie bomber?

The Week That Was

The Senate passed FinReg on Thursday! It's headed to Obama's desk next week. Obama's successful "legislative hat trick" is (ironically) not endearing him to the public, however. Heads up, kids -- Obama knows, and he doesn't really mind. Scotty made up his mind and voted in favor of the legislation. Is he the new Maverick? (Also, attacking his daughters is never okay, Kathy Griffin. Seriously.) This further enraged the splintering Teabagger crowd. They're also up in arms over a NAACP resolution alleging racism. ALSO, it appears the armies didn't gather, as Rick Barber lost his primary.

Obama named Jacob Lew, a top adviser to Hillary, to succeed Peter Orszag at the Office of Management and Budget. Lew held the same position in the Clinton administration. Time to get budgetin'!

A U.S. District Court judge blocked a new abortion screening law from going into effect Thursday.

New Yorkers and Yankees fans mourned the loss of George Steinbrenner. Some weren't so lucky as to have worked for him.

A federal appeals court in New York struck down the FCC's indecency rule. Considering what's on the tube these days, we ain't surprised!

Need to reach Tucker Carlson, flacks? He just got a new email address -- use it before he's sued!

Argentina became the first Latin American country to legalize same sex marriage. And they're still functioning. Imagine that!

The World Cup is finally over. Spain defeated the Netherlands for first place and Paul, the (psychic!) octopus went eight-for-eight. Sadly, 74 people were killed, including an American, in two bombings in Uganda, as crowds gathered to watch the final match. A Somali militant group linked to al-Qaeda claimed responsibility.

The Barefoot Bandit was arrested in the Bahamas after a high-speed boat chase. He has a long history of eluding the cops. His Facebook fans are grieving.

Are You Not Entertained?

So we're asking ourselves this: when was the last time there was good news about Mel Gibson? Assault allegations and racially-tinged rants are just the latest in a long string of trouble. His agent kicked him to the curb and it's looking like the end of his acting career. Should've kept your mouth shut and hands at your side, Mel.

Hats off to our Western Office for letting us know that Biebs dropped by in Omaha! BIEBER FEVER!

Check out Bill and Hill's latest fancy digs in New York. Four fireplaces, stables, 7,000 square feet -- for only $11M? That's a steal!

Remember that Facebook movie trailer? Here's the MySpace version.

Did John Stamos (you know, Uncle Jesse) have a fling with a 17-year-old? ...What?

Snooki has no political inclinations, but apparently voted the way she did in 2008 because Meghan's dad was "cute." Maybe a fake tan and some hair gel could have gotten you the presidency, John. Think about it.

We're not jumping to conclusions about the make-up of Glenn Beckians.

Bristol and Levi are engaged -- AGAIN. Smells like a carefully planned publicity stunt (like nearly everything that emerges from Palin-land). Sarah said thanks, but no thanks!

Interweb Tomfoolery

Good lord! Carl's Jr. is trying to out-do KFC with a foot-long burger. What was that about preventative health measures?

Case closed! Scientists say that the chicken did indeed come before the egg. In your face, eggheads.

How do you make a successful viral video? Just ask Old Spice. We're sure you've seen this awesome ad campaign featuring Isaiah Mustafa in various states of total manliness. Here's the breakdown on how this Internet phenom won our hearts. Oh, and here's his advice for Obama to win over the ladieeees.

Y'all having trouble with your new iPhone 4? Try the duct-tape workaround. Seriously, though, Apple's attempt at handling this complete media meltdown has been poor, to say the least (read this hyperbole-laden article on Steve Jobs' hubris and laugh like Queenie did), and their announcement this afternoon was one more attempt to wrangle the herd into line. The damage has been done, Stevie.

Get your *bleeping* Blago ringtones here.

Microsoft is moving to patent its electronic version of page turning. This is sad, folks. Now who's going to lay claim to the paper version?

How many of you FarmVille fans are willing to cross over to the Google? In an interesting move, Zynga (the company making millions off of Facebook games) is working with Google on their own games site. The Internet wars continue!

A new and controversial Facebook app is making the rounds that will literally lighten you up.

Out on the Town

We're in the middle of all those awesome free outdoor movies in the city. Don't miss out before they're gone!

Dave Matthews is performing at the National Park next Friday. Frat boys, you have your tickets already, right? In other dancing news, the Jamaica Day Outdoor Reggae Festival is happening in Maryland on Sunday.

CAPS FANS: Get your hockey fix in the off-season in Arlington this weekend. If you meet Ovechkin, tell him Queenie said hi!

Finally, catch Queenie at Artscape in Baltimore this weekend to see TONS of her favorite artists (including Wale!). And come with her to see Inception, Christopher Nolan's latest, released today.

Scorecard

Queenie made it back home just in time to see this TR out the door, but she wants to give a special shout-out to Turner Central for getting this one to the finish line this week. *sniff* She REALLY loves her team.

See ya next week!

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