Friday, July 30, 2010

7.30.10: Executing the Double Down, Tweeting with Kanye and Fleeing Charlie Rangel

Queenie was composing some pithy comments about thunderstorms for this intro, until Jon, the Royal Executioner himself, came back from lunch -- with this.

The gloriously triumphant smell of fried chicken has permeated Turner Central. What is it, you ask? Oh, nothing much -- just the fabled KFC Double Down! Yes, months behind in the game, one Double Down meet its salty, greasy, unfortunate demise at the hands of the Executioner himself. Fitting, no?

A little hint from Jon, KFC: if you want more clients, y'all should come downtown -- 1.3 miles both ways is a long trek. Now, that's true American cuisine!

Read on for the snark, folks, and Queenie will be right back after making sure Jon's still breathing.

Forecast

Say it ain't so! House Repubs say that, yes, they'll have an agenda if they regain control. Gosh, a WHOLE AGENDA? Don't work too hard, now! But at present, folks, they're just scrambling to not piss off the unemployed too badly and settling for a whole lotta No.

One instance of this REALLY pissed off Anthony Weiner, who went freakin' nuts on the House floor yesterday about the Public Health Services Act. And we loved it! Watch it, re-watch it, put it on your flippin' Facebook and send it to your mom. While yelling may not accomplish much, we think there's a lesson here: 1. he's right, 2. he's willing to fight for it and 3. taking this viral means people hear the message. (Here's a backgrounder on the bill and what happened yesterday, by the way.)

Democrats are looking to get out in front, ahead of the August recess and the November elections. Their strategy involves packaging tea bags and the GOP (puh-LEEZ be careful with that strategy, guys). They have a new contract and video out. Also, Nancy vented her frustration with the White House and Obama for moving TOO slowly. Next on the Frustrating Congressional Battle Calendar? Tax cuts. WTF?

Rick Santorum is looking ahead for 2012. But so is Newt, who has received a hearty endorsement from... Howard Dean! We also have a Son of Bush who (shockingly) also knows when to say No.

U.S. District Court Judge Susan Bolton struck down the most controversial elements of the new immigration law that went into effect Thursday. Protesters, beware. Governor Jan Brewer's team is expected to appeal the decision. Onwards to SCOTUS! Lindsey is thinking about introducing an amendment that would rescind birthright citizenship.

Another slippery week for BP. Tony Hayward was kindly asked to step aside AND receive a supersweet severance package and pension -- at the same time. Screw it; Tony's bound for Russia. He'll be replaced by a REEL 'Murican in October. Remember that $20 billion fund the company agreed to set up for claims? Well, it hasn't even been filled. In similar news, a leaking oil pipeline has Michigan on edge and Louisiana has yet another, smaller oil spill. When will the madness end? It's looking like not until 2028.

The Week That Was

WikiLeaks has become a household name here in the DC area. The White House has condemned the release of more than 75,000 new documents suggesting the Afghanistan war is floundering beyond belief. The doc dump occurs as Democrats debate the war spending bill. Er, not the best timing. But since none of the information was particularly new or revelatory, the docs themselves are getting downplayed in the face of press about this WikiLeaks thing.

We're getting close to another round of primaries come August. What better time to pander to perspective voters? TN Rep. Zach Wamp echoed Rick Perry with secession talk, and then, surprisingly, backtracked. Sarah's magic hasn't gone over well with New Hampshire voters, but that also might be the result of her going after the lamestream media (again). Alvin Greene, candidate and soon-to-be film star, made it on CREW's most crooked candidate list. You guys, he just wants people to make toys. Is that so bad? Looks like Sharron might need a crash course in fiscal responsibility. Finally, Michele Bachmann has a Teabagger revolt on her hands. Those folks sure aren't happy about her endorsement of an insider.

Charlie Rangel is in hot water after a drawn-out investigation of improprieties. The New York congressman had already been stripped of his Ways & Means chairmanship. He's accusedof allegedly using that position to protect a donor to a graduate program in his name, failing to pay taxes on a house, and failing to report hundreds of thousands of dollars of income. Dems are just praying for this one to go away.

Ken Buck says Teabaggin' birthers, and their expertise on birth certificates, are just a bunch of dumb***es. Remember, peeps, he's the same guy who made headlines last week for hatin' on the ladies. In other news, a group of confused and easily agitated Minutemen were preparing to go all out to turn back an invasion. This is super serious!

Senate Republicans blocked campaign finance reform. Apparently, we're curbing free speech by... disclosing ad-backers? And we know the health insurance industry is ALWAYS on our side.

Are You Not Entertained?

Barry is always making history. Thursday he was on The View, and tried to convince us that he doesn't know who Snooki is. Sure you don't, B. Suuure.

Have you been keeping up with Top Chef this season? It's been a little boring, we have to admit -- no real leaders and not a lot of drama. That is, until last night. WHO STOLE THE PEA PUREE?! In other news, DC is about to get even more real: The Real Housewives of DC starts a week from Thursday. Don't miss the Salahis!

Kanye West is on an impressive press push through Silcon (NOT Silicone!) Valley. He performed some new songs, yeah, yeah , but MORE IMPORTANTLY: he debuted his Twitter account. This is so real.

Oh NOES! Ellen is leaving American Idol. Not enough dance offs? But turns out there are already replacements in line: Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez are set to take the mics and keep this over-extended, tired franchise puttering along a little bit more.

We barely even want to mention this (sigh): Sarah and Kate are going camping. In other Palin-land news, Levi scored a music video appearance to further extend his fifteen minutes of fame. The video involves a mother who interferes a lil' too much. Subtle.

This was making the rounds yesterday: Steve Carell and Zach Galifianakis, two comedians known for roles like Michael Scott of The Office and Zach Galifianakis of You-Really-Should-Have-Heard-of-Him-by-Now, are co-starring in a new movie soon. They made a funny video together (watch this first for context!).

New Jersey's governor is not fond of Jersey Shore, and rubs it in the face of New Yorkers, at the same time. Snooki says he's wrong -- it's all about having a good time! And she's SO RIGHT! Did you catch the premiere? Apparently all of Twitter did, logging 16,000 Tweets per hour at the peak last night.

Fox News' Carl Cameron finally admits (albeit "off-the-record") that the Teabaggers have friends in high places.

Interweb Tomfoolery

It's official, y'all: endorse Basil Marceaux.com for Guv! This week also brought out Ron Ramsey, who, clearly, is tolerant of many other views. Can y'all do better, Tennessee? Down in Oklahoma, one judicial candidate is in a bitter feud with family members. In the digital age, you can count on being caught doing the dirty work. The Republican Governors Association launched their feisty attack ad this week.

Check out this new political time-waster. Queenie is really, truly addicted -- she spent a little while "researching" but nearly got her butt kicked by Karl Rove. NEARLY.

Ohh, social media dorks: this just might be too much. In related news, YouTube is allowing 15 minute videos instead of 10. Um... yay? Finally, Google Earth now allows you to see real-time weather, which is sooo coooool.

The U.S. Copyright Office says you can go right ahead and jailbreak your iPhones. Is there anyone out there with an iPhone that's NOT jailbroken? No?

Oh, would you look at that. 14-year-old Laura received court approval to become the youngest person to circumnavigate the globe. Thanks, Dad.

Wow, nerds, calm down. There was an arrest at last weekend's Comic-Con over a pen stabbing. But we were most entertained at the hilarious counter-protest against the crazies from Westboro Baptist Church. BTW, they also have a thing for Biebs and GaGa.

Out on the Town

Shark Week! There's a free screening of "Ultimate Air Jaws" in Maryland tonight, and we're sure you're dying to figure out what that actually means. (PS: After Googling for pictures of flying sharks to illustrate this event, Queenie is now officially afraid of them and won't be joining you for this screening. But have fun, kids!)

If you're not feeling so relaxed (the notion of flying great whites can do that to a dude), shake off that energy when the U.S. Department of Bhangra debuts at the Black Cat tonight, bringing back the monthly Indian dance party for only $5. Saturday, hit up the Mall for National Dance Day and let the kiddies join Congresswoman Norton's flash mob. Yes, you heard that correctly.

Eatonville is hosting a benefit Saturday for the gulf. Celebrate your do-gooder vibes at the BYT Summer Camp pool party and get that karaoke on.

Finally, the Legg Mason Tennis Classic kicks off this weekend. They're livestreaming it, but why not just head over there?

Scorecard

HE SURVIVED! Jon's verdict on the most epic of chicken sandwiches? "Not very good."

Huh. We were expecting something a little more dramatic. Have you tried the Double Down? What did you think?

Don't forget to sign up for Turner's MediaMorphosis discussion, coming up next week! Learn how to bring your organization into the digital age from three major non-profits who have done just that. Queenie will be there, so don't forget to say hi!

Until next week,

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