Friday, June 11, 2010

The TR: Kickin' Ass, Rippin' Shirts and Startin' Catfights

We have had a BUSY flippin' week! But that doesn't mean we don't love you enough to give you your weekly dose of snarkage. Read on and get your Friday done right!

Forecast

Yes, Rep. Melancon -- we are ALL feeling very frustrated with the oil spill. Estimates about just how much oil has spilled into the Gulf are ranging from "a freaking lot" to "holy f$#%," and we're getting more frustrated by the minute. But even this environmental disaster may not be enough to coax Congress into listening to environmentalists.

So is President Obama finally getting into the zone? It's been 50 days since the gushing began and he finally wants to know whose ass he needs to kick. It's... about time? He can always take a lesson from Colbert. The world is also wondering how Admiral Thad Allen is holding up -- check him out on the weekend shows and let us know what you think. Sarah is clearly up-to-date on the spill because she wants the President to get involved, and, you know, give her a call for advice. Floridians are swinging the other way when it comes to off-shore drilling. Screw it... let's just bomb the thing.

We're predicting maybe just a few more minutes of fame (maybe infamy) for mystery candidate Alvin Green -- by the way, this is generating some of the best headlines EVER -- but then, what with this crazy news cycle and all the shenanigan-ing, who knows? This thing could last for a while.

While detaining suspected illegal immigrants, U.S. border patrol agents shot a 15-year-old Mexican to death along the border. This incident, tied with Arizona's law will certainly not help immigration reform (which is staying in the news thanks to candidates like Meg Whitman). Speaking of, is this law driving people out of the state?

The European Union and the IMF are joining forces to stave off further economic jitters by creating a $1 trillion bailout fund. Fears are rising that Spain and Portugal could follow Greece in requiring a bailout.

Luckily, World Cup fever has begun! Here's hoping for more trash talk like this between the US and UK Embassies. It's gonna be a GREAT season (and see below for the best spots to ogle some hot soccer players -- Queenie, of course, is just in it for love of the game). Keep track of the scores so far here.

The Week That Was

Another week and another round of primaries across the country this past Tuesday. Women were the big winners! Arkansas senator Blanche Lincoln held off a ferocious primary challenge from Bill Halter. Thank you, Bubba, because everyone predicted her defeat. The White House made a comment on the wasted cash and labor organizations are mad as hell. Harry Reid received a gift (yes?) in Tea Party-darling Sharron Angle's victory. Both Carly Fiorina and Meg Whitman, each with millions at their disposal, won their respective primaries. Meg gave a cheap shot for the press (literally), although Carly took the cheapest shot of all. California gold, indeed. But in South Carolina, where Nikki Haley trounced her closest opponent into a runoff, one Democrat won his primary with literally nothing! One last thing -- despite the hype, birther queen Orly Taitz didn't succeed in further embarrassing Cali.

Ah, that attempt at criticizing Kagan we mentioned happened -- a little weakly. Expect a little more as the documents keep rolling in.

Veteran WH journalist Helen Thomas announced her retirement after a controversial video surfaced over the weekend. What a tragic way to end such a distinguished career. There's now a serious battle to claim that front and center seat.

The war in Afghanistan became the longest war in American history, surpassing Vietnam.

Abby Sunderland, who was attempting to become the youngest person to sail solo around the world (and who has been garnering an admirable amount of press coverage while doing so) was temporarily lost at sea after her yacht was damaged in a storm. She's been found, and we are wowed by this strong young woman. Props, Abby! (PS: What have YOU accomplished today?)

Are You Not Entertained?

Is that Obama rapping? That is so '90s.

Someone snapped a picture of Keanu Reeves alone on a bench, and it's turned into the latest Photoshopped celebrity Internet meme: Sad Keanu. Cheer up, Neo!

Did Sarah Palin get a boob job? ...More of the world cares about this than we thought possible. And don't lie to Queenie OR yourself -- you totally clicked!

Are you a Mormon, lazy Christian, sports nut or rebellious woman? (Queenie happily claims the last, thanksverymuch!) Then you'd better watch out!

Interweb Tomfoolery

The ex-Prez has issued his "Inaugural Address" as FB President 4 Life. We're not sure if you care, but he already has almost 200,000 "fans" -- this is a flashback we never wanted.

It's no iPad (although that magical device IS the newest White House toy) -- Apple launched the newest version of the venerable iPhone this week. Steve had some tech difficulties but the fans obliged to his request. But so much for the good hype: we're back to security breaches.

Often, we're asked why we have an office in Omaha, NE. Well, kids, our Omaha office gave us the answer. And we quote: "Bet you didn't know Omaha was THIS thug!"

For many of us tech gurus, this is what some fear could happen to us.

Who loves Super Mario Bros. and stop-motion film? Turner Central does!

Apparently Twitter believes some folks inside the Washington bubble are having trouble doing the Tweet thing. Not us! Also, how not to be a Twitter "dork."

Brian McCrary was ticketed for speeding, and boy, was he mad -- but he got his revenge.

Out on the Town

It's Friday, and if you've had a week anything like Turner Central has, you're ready for a drink. Wine enthusiasts, please head to the National Building Museum for Toast of the Town. Jazz fans, high-five Queenie at Jazz in the Garden. And tech nerds, we KNOW the Digital Capital Week Opening Party is already on your Google calendar (free PBR? What kind of hipster-fest IS this?).

This may seem out of the ordinary for Queenie, but turns out she's a complete festival dork. Find her at the Potomac Celtic Festival this weekend buying some awesome leatherwork, cheering at rugby matches and chillin' with the rest of her Scotch/Irish peeps. If that's too far away for you, the National Harbor Food & Wine festival is right across the river.

However, sports fans know: this weekend is all about the World Cup. Watch the epic U.S./England match at the pool, in the middle of Dupont Circle, or in any number of bars across the DMV. Pro Tip: Remember to wear two shirts, so you don't get any public indecency charges after your fave team scores. Just trying to help, folks!

Scorecard

Enjoy those games, keep an eye on that mysterious candidate and come back next Friday for more.

3 comments:

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