Friday, June 4, 2010

The TR: Capping the Flow, Busting Out the Slurs and Lobbying for... Corn!

We love some summer thunderstorms, but this nearly-100-degrees business is just... gross. Time to start planning more summer vacations, no? And what with this positive news about the economy, we're sure you can afford something spectacular this year. Probably not Florida, though.

Turn up the A/C, kick back and snark with us for a while, won't you?

Forecast

Is this really doomsday for Obamaland? Pundits and wonks alike have been either triumphant or down in the dumps about the recent set of fiascos. But Gibbs is stubbornly insisting that they ain't dead yet. The Sestak story might be fading, but this new non-offer by White House Deputy Chief of Staff Jim Messina is not something Obama wants on his plate, along with the BP debacle.
Unsurprisingly, markets fell after the jobs report was released today, but experts warned not to read too much into this or any other single report. But... people will anyway. When you've got charts like this one, it's hard not to.

The cap is on! But will it work? BP's "top kill" attempt to stop the gushing oil spill failed, after some confusion. The oil slick reached Mississippi and Alabama, and the "giant globs of shit" are making their way to the Sunshine State. Guess that 60 or 70 percent chance thing didn't turn out that well. At least their PR shop (and some of DC's PR shops too!) know how to stage a good photo-op, and they should take comfort from one Louisiana senator. Considering the oil company's track record of success in this disaster, we figure it won't be until August (or much later, according to one investor) when this thing might be contained. And then we'll truly be able to see the immediate impact of the spill on the environment and local residents.

The Elena Kagan docs are out. Let the out of context accusations begin!

Tensions are rising in the global community after Israeli troops raided a flotilla of boats headed for Gaza. Journalists are having trouble reporting the news. Meanwhile, the UN and NATO are calling for investigations. Israeli's prime minister canceled a previously planned visit to Washington this week to handle the situation.

The Week That Was

This past Tuesday, primaries were held in Alabama, Mississippi, and New Mexico. Rep. Arthur Davis lost his bid to become the first African-American governor of Alabama. Meanwhile, Democrat-turned-Republican Parker Griffith lost his seat. Join the party, Parker! Finally, New Mexico will elect its first female governor in November.

Illinois GOP senate candidate Mark Kirk followed in Richard Blumenthal's steps by misrepresenting an award received while serving the the Navy, and claiming service in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Dude, wasn't your record good enough already? Also, Blumenthal's opponent had some trouble remembering what she majored in.

You know, this isn't the first time we've mentioned the PR people for the corn industry. They're back at it with a $1m campaign.

Those Texas lobbyists know how to reach their lawmakers posthaste!Nevada Tea Party candidate Scott Ashjian shows us what the fiscal responsibility mantle is all about.

Holy crap, South Carolina! When you bring the crazy, you bring the crazy. Just... stop it with the slurs, would you?

After 40 (!!!) years of marriage, former Vice President Al Gore and Tipper called it quits. The next time Queenie saw Gore in the news was when he was talking about giving his slideshow again. Did you lose a little of the passion there, Al?

Are You Not Entertained?

D'oh! Woohoo! Indeed. Homer Simpson beat out the likes of Harry Potter and Buffy to become the greatest character created for television and film in the last 20 years.

Conan is still on tour, and his dance-off against Stephan Colbert and Jon Stewart had this Queen of Snark literally LOL-ing. And that doesn't happen often!

Make that SIR Patrick Stewart. Well deserved, Captain!

A follow-up on the M.I.A. story: she wins! Sort of. Hey, when you make the N.Y.T. issue a correction, you win on SOME level.

Paul McCartney was in town. Who needs bad news when you can sing Hey Jude with Barack?

R.I.P. Rue McClanahan.

Interweb Tomfoolery

Mark Zuckerberg melted into a tepid puddle of shame this week while facing down questions about FB's privacy issues. We recommend you fire your media trainer, STAT. Speaking of FB and puddles of shame, Dubya joined up -- talk about a complete turnaround on privacy!

Pro Tip: Don't check into Foursquare from Tiananmen Square, or this might happen.

The All Things Digital conference happened this week, and NPR took the time to present their more humorous side. Oh, and a new effing tote.

Michelle Obama and Harry Reid are now workout buddies, and the Bidens visit Sesame Street.

We've heard about this happening, but we never thought it was real: this woman TRUSTED Google with her walking directions and they clearly let her down. She can't possibly be held responsible for wandering onto a highway!

British Airways, still in the middle of a strike, made a terrible gaffe. We don't think the world's most wanted man is going to be flying anytime soon.

The latest viral video craze gives a bad name to drunk drivers everywhere... but makes a decent case for flying cars.

Out on the Town

If you're a DC-Metro native like Queenie, you may remember the demise of HFS -- the better alt-rock radio station in town. And you may have gone to a few HFStivals in your time, like Queenie. Well, then you might be as excited as Queenie to hear that HFStival is BACK -- with an old school line-up (Billy Idol, anyone?). Queenie will be starting her summer concert series off right with The National on Sunday.

The Capitol Pride Festival kicks off this weekend, and so does the Capital Jazz Festival. If you're more into beer, we've got that covered too. What's that? Still hungry? BBQ to the rescue!

Hanging out with the kiddies? Get your creativity on in Bethesda. Or let them have a night in the museum (minus the CGI T-Rex skeleton or Ben Stiller's questionable acting skills).

Scorecard

It was a short week (and a bit of a TR-lite) but it sure didn't feel like it. Enjoy your weekend to the max, and we'll see you next Friday!

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