Friday, May 28, 2010

The TR: Failing PR 101, Putting Up Fences and Dodging GOP Twitterbombs

Do you have fantabulous plans for the three day weekend? We felt it important to give our readers something to do while they work on their excuses to leave early diligently through all of Friday. So, voila -- a snarky kick-start to your afternoon! It's healthier (and cheaper -- thanks, DC...) than Red Bull, right?

Forecast

Barry is under serious fire from all sides and is currently trying to show us that he's on top of that massive oil slick (quite literally, since he's in Louisiana today). But the question of how much the government can do versus what BP is already doing has been raised non-stop this week. (Guess who was on hand to explain the science, btw? Bill Nye!) The criticism is coming even from teammates: James C. is always the liveliest on subjects concerning his home state. WH officials are fighting hard (with less coverage nowadays) to make sure this disaster does not become a political nightmare, but it looks like BP's CEO is creating his own PR follies. And BP's got another headache in the form of its Trans-Alaska Pipeline -- does this mean Sarah is coming to the rescue?

Another potential PR fail lies in Sestak-gate -- the potentially shady business surrounding an alleged WH job offer that would have kept Sestak from running. Of course, the legality of all this is not what this media maven would call The Fail; it was the silence on the issue up 'til now that made Republican tongues wag and Democratic hair turn prematurely gray.

The White House came on board to a compromise that might finally lead to a repeal to the Pentagon's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. The House and the Senate Armed Services Committee have both voted in favor of the repeal, but its implementation could be more than a year away. We're just happy to see this one moving!

Tensions are rising on the Korean peninsula after the North severed all ties with it's neighbor. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton took a hard-line against North Korea, and, after an initially cool response, China is talking to South Korea about sanctions.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will be paying a visit to President Obama next Tuesday. The Israeli leader was personally invited by Rahm on a vacation to Israel. Are things warming up between the two nations?

Sarah has a new neighbor and the former governor isn’t happy about the intrusion. Journalist Joe McGinniss is moving into a home owned by a woman crossed by the Palins (that’s karma for ya!). And Greta showed off the totally awesome craftsmanship of their new "privacy" fence. As funny as this is... it's also totally creepy. We've said it before: leave her family be.

The Week That Was

Obama ordered 1,200 troops to our border with Mexico to beef up security (and placate some right-wingers). The President was also out west for a fundraiser, where he was heckled, yet again. He took a swipe at Senate Republicans for their lunchtime frankness.

This wasn't a great week for schools and educators in the southwest. Arizona is moving along to make sure those heavily-accented English teachers "improve" or be shown the door. Some folks down in Texas are giving a big thumbs up for a revised textbook curriculum that tones down criticism of things like the Red Scare and Senator Joe McCarthy's anti-communist witch hunt. Also, the United Nations is a very bad organization. And California, you're not off the hook, either.

FinReg? Meh.

Tired of Tickle Me Massa? Esquire isn't, and we just had to share their story with you. Sorry, Eric, but some things you say are WAY out there.

As if Rand Paul wasn't already nuts (Mitch says so), his spokesman has driven further into the depths of insanity. North Carolina Republicans are turning against one of their own. Tim D'Annunzio finished first in the primary, but they don't want him! He's, uh, crazy. Are the allegations against Nikki Haley a smear, or something really going on? Harry Reid might catch a breath in his tough re-election battle against a rising Tea Party star. Finally, a GOP candidate was caught plagiarizing Obama. This guy's been in the doghouse before, and Sarah's kiss of death did the poor man in. Somehow, that doesn't surprise us.

Charles Djou became the first Republican in the Hawaii congressional delegation in twenty years. A shout out to the two Democrats who split 58% of the total vote -- sharing is caring! (Pro tip: THAT WAS SARCASM.) Anyway, don't expect to see Charles cruising to victory in November.

Tea Partiers are fuming over Scotty's recent votes. His staff should expect some tea bags in the mail, stat.

Are You Not Entertained?

We edit, you decide.

You didn't go see SATC 2, did you? If you did, *sigh* fine. We hope you enjoyed every minute. If you didn't, check out these top 10 review slams of this non-anticipated sequel.

A loooong NYT profile of rapper/singer/mom M.I.A. is now being slammed by the artist herself in some angry Tweets and an angry posting of the journalist's cell phone number. Journalists will, of course, characterize this as whining, but, hey, there's always a silver lining. Free publicity for eeeveryone!

Be careful at the wax museum, y'all -- Ozzy Osbourne (not surprisingly) spent some time scaring people at Madame Tussauds in this hilarious video. Ozzy's lumbering his way into "Silly Old Grandpa... of Darkness" territory, isn't he?

Ah, another day, another Ponzi scheme by an "investor to the stars." Yawn.

This cop in Santa Monica, CA is tough. No excuses allowed for this live reporter.

The rapper 50 Cent put out very surprising photos of himself after dropping 60 pounds to play a college football player diagnosed with cancer. Never thought we'd say this, but we hope 50 is actually a good actor, because damn... how sad would it be if he didn't end with SOME kind of award?

Interweb Tomfoolery

Apple's got the money. Didn't we know that already, though? When you have the type of rabid fans who are willing and able to shell out $500 to $800 for a fun new toy, you're probably doing okay.

Dammit, Google! Some of us had work to do last week!

We HAD to put this in: check out this video of an 8-month-old deaf toddler when he begins to hear again. In other adorable baby video news, check it: Iron BABY!

The ultimate face-palm moment of the week: Fox News announcing launch of website targeting Latino viewers. How will they spin this? And here's an example of a failed press release.

We didn't believe it until we read it: Sorry chickens, you won't be welcome at the voting booth.

House Democrats unveiled their New Media Caucus. Kinda rough timing though -- the GOP has got y'all beat with their forum-based site that's sure to write their agenda for them. And... wait... oh no... did someone teach Michael Steele to Twitter-bomb?!

J.D. Hayworth can't get his history right -- McCain just might have a chance now.

The Pentagon's recipe for brownies. Don't read too much into it.

Out on the Town

Queenie will be kicking off the start of Jazz in the Garden this evening (if the weather holds out). And with any luck she'll be hitting up a pool party or two over the next couple of days -- Camp Camp, perhaps?

For the intellectually-inclined, A Prairie Home Companion is at Wolftrap tonight and Saturday. For the Adam Sandler-inclined, Happy Gilmore is showing over in Rosslyn tonight.

Whatever you do, it's a holiday weekend so you should celebrate appropriately. The National Memorial Day Concert will be held in front of the Capitol Sunday. Additional patriotism can be found at Wolftrap on Sunday with the USMC band. Finally, check out the photo opps at the Sunset Celebration at Mount Vernon.

Scorecard

There is almost too much to write about these days! We didn't even mention the volcanoes, the nuclear conference or Foxconn. But, noted news junkies as we are, we do our best to stay on top of the scene -- and we've been hearing all week from some devoted fans that we've been doing pretty good so far (shout outs to the Green Media Toolshed happy hour folks!). If you have tips or comments, don't be afraid to tell us!

Have a great holiday,

Friday, May 21, 2010

The TR: Rand Paul Brings the Crazy, Scott Brown Saves FinReg and Justin Bieber Runs Into a Door

That nasty, humid, sticky DC weather is officially here. Granted, Queenie just spent several days in Florida, which was pretty much the same deal, but at least there was a beach! Anyway, she's back and ready to snark it up. Are you?

Forecast

The finance reform bill has passed the Senate (thanks, Scott Brown)! ...And now it's time to sell it to the people, AND to smooth out the differences between Senate and House bills so Barry can sign this by July 4. If you haven't been following this legislation closely (we can't imagine why not!), WaPo has the helpful graphic that should help sort it out.

The oil spill is worse than we suspected, kiddos. BP is still struggling under the weight of massive fail as oil reaches the Louisiana shore. And, of course, Rand Paul is comfortable asserting himself as "snark fodder for the next foreseeable few weeks" by declaring that it is unpatriotic to criticize BP. Thank you, Rand -- we're happy you're here too.

Elena Kagan has been under increasing scrutiny and will continue to be leading up to her June 23 Senate confirmation hearing. Queenie, personally, is highly annoyed at all the speculation into Kagan's sex life -- there are plenty of other things to worry about! In other SC news, looks like none of the SC Justices will be Twitting anytime soon.

International news update: Thailand has reached a shaky peace after clashes between Red Shirt protesters and police neared anarchy; Pakistan has started blocking social networking sites after the creation of a Facebook page calling for drawings of the Prophet Muhammad; and Mexican president Felipe Calderón asked for help stopping drug violence in Mexico and condemning the Arizona illegal immigration law. It doesn't do any of these stories justice to squeeze this all into one paragraph, but 1. this is a short newsletter (usually) and 2. you'll hear plenty more about them, we're sure!

Lou Dobbs is going to be speaking at a summer Tea Party convention in Sin City. Pop quiz! Which part of this story is ironic?

The Week That Was

Did you watch the returns for Tuesday's primaries? Tea Partiers made their mark (haha) in Kentucky by sending Rand Paul to victory. Here comes the fallout: he's got a teensy problem explaining his position on civil rights. In Arkansas, Blanche Lincoln was forced into a run-off by Lt. Governor Bill Halter. But, by far, the biggest news was Arlen Specter's defeat at the hands of Congressman Joe Sestak.

Rep. Mark Souder of Indiana resigned his seat after admitting that he had an affair with one of his staffers (which is apparently, uh, not against the House rules). Watch the former congressman and that same staffer talk about abstinence. These stories write themselves nowadays, don't they?

In other Congressional mistress news, former New York congressman Vito Fossella was nominated by the Staten Island GOP establishment to run for his former seat. Remind us what family values are, again?

Another disappointment from the Lone Star state: turns out Texas Governor Rick "Secessionist" Perry can't keep his hands out of the cookie jar. That's quite a rental home. What say you, teabaggers?

This week we mark a somber milestone -- the death of the 1000th American in Afghanistan. Our hearts go out to the families of those who gave the ultimate sacrifice.

Are You Not Entertained?

Conservatives and whackjobs started a firestorm over the new Miss U.S.A. winner Rima Fakih. We don't even want to acknowledge the controversy over her clothes or the stripper pole thing; we're more concerned with CNN asking if she's a spy and others asking if she's part of an Islamist conspiracy.

John Edwards is desperate to stay out of jail and apparently is working for a plea deal. Worried about that hair, Johnny?

Bristol, honey, just because your mother can rake in the dough doesn't mean you're going to be a hit (although props for trying, we guess?). All that money must mean she's hired a few good nannies, though, right? So that child will be raised right? By... someone?

Tween news alert! Justin Bieber ran into a door and the Jonas Brothers were trapped in an elevator. Clearly, this is a conspiracy.

The LOST finale is happening on Sunday (here's your requisite drinking game), and countries are simulcasting it worldwide to block the Interweb Pirates from posting spoilers. Now, if only we could get this kind of global unity around things that matter, amirite?

Interweb Tomfoolery

Have you seen the Google logo today? Pro Tip: You can actually play the game, folks! Speaking of the big G, Google TV is coming -- check out this handy explanatory video to figure out what the hell it is and read this to find out why you'll actually like it. And they need the good press -- looks like they've been swept up in the privacy narrative that already has a death grip on Facebook.

Apple update: take a look at a testy e-mail exchange between the Apple king and a blogger; Bill Maher thinks Steve can run the country better than our president; Sex and the City has succumbed to product placement and gone PC; and apparently this Android business is a "slap in Apple's face." It's hard not to be the underdog, huh? Oh, and this video of Bill Gates and Steve Jobs together and saying backwards things is a must-see!

Queenie always knew she wanted a non-traditional wedding.

London's unveiling of the new Olympic mascots has resulted in the most awesome Photoshop contest ever.

We haven't been loving Nike lately (check out our friend Anne Mai Bertelsen's piece on Roethlisberger) but we do love this epic Nike ad about the World Cup.

We actually thought this was a Photoshop prank or something, but apparently Huggies Jeans -- yes, diapers that look like jeans -- are f'real.

Out on the Town

DC Yoga Week is almost over! Did you get your sun salutations in? In other fitness news, you can tour the city and pretend like you don't sit for 40+ hours a week with WalkingTownDC.

If you're a Top Chef freak and foodie like Queenie is, you might want to go see Anthony Bourdain and Eric Ripert at the Warner Theater tonight. $10 says Tony talks about nothing but sausage, booze, drugs and more sausage.

Queenie will be checking out the Asia Heritage Foundation's street fair on Saturday, where she'll be supporting her friends in the Bollywood Flash Mob (you didn't hear it from us!). If you're less than coordinated (and hungry!) hit up the DC 101 Chili Cook-Off. And the word is that a member of the Turner Central Royal Family will be dancing to some '80s jams that night.

Finally, Sunday will be a blast: get your record collection bulked up at the Black Cat, dance and eat and dance some more at 930 Club, and (for all you fangirls and boys out there) WATCH LOST.

Scorecard

Didja miss Queenie, or did our Executioner do such a fine job that you forgot she existed? It's okay. The TR is a team effort, y'all -- Queenie likes to share credit!

Friday, May 14, 2010

The TR: Supreme Courting, BP Blues, and Primary Upsets

What's with the weather this week? Lots going on: Supreme Court posturing, BP in denial, politics across the Atlantic, and a healthy anniversary.

The forecast is a tumultuous one!

Forecast

As predicted, President Obama nominated current solicitor general Elena Kagan to replace John Paul Stevens on the Supreme Court. And just as predictable, Republicans are gearing up for a big fight. Oklahoma's Jim Inhofe was first out the gate to voice his firm opposition of Kagan (he voted against her nomination for solicitor general as well). It's going to be bloody confirmation battle-the left and right are going after Obama's pick. Her nomination has also caused quite a stir in the Pennsylvania Senate race.

On that note--how many teabaggers does it take to oust an incumbent United States Senator? Delegates at Utah's GOP convention gave Robert Bennett the boot, with a little help from the Club for Growth. They are looking beyond the west, seeking to influence another high-profile race in Kentucky. Also, Maine Republicans have sadly adopted the 'rational insight' of the Tea Party (and literally caused some damage, in the process). Stay tuned-this primary season is going to be a roller coaster!

Senators Kerry and Lieberman introduced their version of climate change legislation on Wednesday. Missing was South Carolina's Lindsey Graham. Not feeling the love, Lindsey? Kerry and Lieberman still have a ways to go to find votes, and work with House colleagues, so it may be a while before we see any action.

Obama's angry, really angry, at the Republicans. Can he rally the base before November?

Seven more states announced they are joining twelve others to challenge the provision in the health care law that penalizes Americans who don't buy insurance. How long will this drag out?

The Week That Was

BP's effort to contain that massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico have so far failed. Looks like garbage is their backup solution. If that doesn't work, they'll use a tube. Execs of BP, Halliburton, and Transocean were on the Hill blaming each other for the mess. And BP FINALLY releases a 30-second video of the ongoing leak. Will anyone take full responsibility?

The GOP candidate in Hawaii's 1st congressional district is on his way to victory. Get it together, Hawaii Dems! The DCCC has pulled out, and Obama won't endorse either Democratic candidate. Also, 14-term West Virginia representative Alan Mollohan was trounced in the Democratic primary.

Republicans chose Tampa for their 2012 national convention. We wonder where convention-goers will be tempted to relax for entertainment. Where will the Dems hold theirs?

Phoenix is feeling the pain from organizations relocating events elsewhere in the wake of Arizona's tough immigration law. And the governor disappoints us again by targeting ethnic studies courses. Meanwhile, the Governator was at Emory to deliver his commencement address and couldn't resist wading into the controversy.

Afghan President Hamid Karzai was in Washington, D.C. as tensions between Afghanistan and the U.S. have cooled in recent months. Karzai and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton acknowledged differences but pledged to work together.

Laura Bush comes out in favor of gay marriage and is also pro-choice. A little PR stunt for her upcoming book? Of course.

Supporters of auditing the Federal Reserve received a small gift this week when the Senate voted 96-0 to attach an amendment for a one-time audit to the financial services bill. Americans are also paying less taxes than they were since 1950.

Devastating tornadoes touched down across Oklahoma and Kansas. We're praying for you all and for a strong recovery.

Space Shuttle Atlantis lifted off from the Kennedy Space Center in Floria for what is likely to be its last planned flight, ahead of the retirement of the current shuttle program.

South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford spent some time in Florida, (not quite as south as Argentina), with his lover, mistress, er...whomever. Don't worry--he's only got months to go before he leaves office!

The end of Labour's reign in the United Kingdom: Gordon Brown resigned this week. So much back and forth negotiations. Want to read a blow-by-blow account of the flurry of events? And, was a big banker the person who sealed the deal?

Greece is out of woods-barely. But it's going to take a heckuva lot of cash to pull the Eurozone out of this funk. German Chancellor Angela Merkel, took a hit for supporting the bailout.

Are You Not Entertained?

She's still got in in her! Betty White debuted as host of SNL. She rocked, and the ratings soared!

Looking for an entertaining read? Newsweek's Jonathan Alter has a book due out next week, and it has some rather embarrassing tidbits about the French first couple. Sorry, Michelle!

This week, Jon Stewart took a look at a Tennessee pastor who attracts people to his flock with a jab and a punch. Oy!

Rihanna tries the Moonwalk. No one can be follow in Michael's footsteps.

Law & Order fans are understandably saddened by rumors of the long-running show's cancellation. Good Ol' Fred Thompson shares his thoughts.

Interweb Tomfoolery

Ohio Dems launched this website in response to a GOP ad attacking Lee Fisher. Provocative or just plain silly? Also, check out this ad running down in Alabama. Someone really wants to win!

Ladies, technology will make you happier! But it's also an absolute necessity in the PR world.

Does Obama really hate the iPad?

Stealing legally: We smell a reality show coming!

We'll give her a star for making the effort to arrest Karl Rove. Granny knows best!

Oh, no, the series of tubes is running out of space.

Tweeting can be such a life-saver.

Out on the Town

We have a couple folks here at Turner who swear by yoga to unwind, so we're letting you all know about Yoga on the Mall this weekend!

Travel to Northwest, Greek enthusiasts, for a weekend of food, music, dance, and tours at the Saint Sophia Cathedral's Spring Greek Festival.

If you have some more time, head out to Andrews Air Force Base, for the 2010 Joint Service Open House and Airshow.

Shameless Self-Promotion

Seats are going fast for Turner's MediaMorphosis luncheon series, designed to teach nonprofits how to tell their stories in the changing media environment. Our very own Suzanne Turner will be moderating the first discussion, "Battered Journalism: Nonprofits to the Rescue?" Register before it's too late!

Also, don't forget to tune in to Fem2.0 Blog Radio next Tuesday. We'll have New York Times journalist and best-selling author Judith Warner on the show to discuss her latest book.

Scorecard

Elena Kagan's confirmation process will likely last through the beginning summer. The teabaggery won't go away, it seems, and woes for folks along the Gulf will be front page news for the foreseeable future.

Katie Stanton, Queen of Snark, is on vacation in sunny Florida, and she'll be back next week. Give her a warm welcome back!

Enjoy your weekend, and we'll see you next time!

--The Royal Executioner

Friday, May 7, 2010

The TR: Stock Market Panic, Arizona Boycotts and Saving Greece

Nerves are wearing pretty thin, aren't they? Everyone's on the edges of their seats tracking oil slicks, election polls, financial reform legislation, Arizona boycotts, Supreme Court picks... So you'd think it'd be understandable to make a typo or two now and then, right?

(Ah! Did you hear that? The sweet sound of someone getting FIRED.)

Watch those fingers carefully, kids. And read on for some stress relief from the snarkosphere!

Forecast

Greece has been suffering riots this week as the government enforces "austerity measures" to contain the damage. (We have to put this in, btw, even if we suspect Photoshopping: meet Kanellos, the Greek Riot Dog!) Germany has stepped in to save Greece from bankruptcy, but the contagion effect is already in full force -- fears and doubts have caused global markets to fall today, and continue to encourage right-wing fearmongers to yell about U.S. tax dollars going to this bailout. Spoiler alert: Not so much.

Back home, we're a smidge more concerned with an oily mess that keeps getting bigger. The containment dome is on the move, but no one knows for sure if it will work. The most fragile victims of "Obama's Katrina" are now washing ashore. Could hair save the gulf coast? BP's CEO said his company stopped circulating settlement agreements with a maximum value of $5k to coastal residents. Talk about a PR fail. Brownie from Katrina made a fool out of himself on Cavuto (and watch Gibbs' snarky retort to Fox News). Congress will definitely be holding hearings to get to the bottom of this disaster -- if not to score some political points (omg, climate bill!).

Over the weekend there was a bomb scare in Times Square. Cheers to the street vendor who alerted cops! Authorities arrested Faisal Shahzad just as his flight to Dubai was about to take off. The conversation is moving on, however, to the NRA's support for terrorists buying guns and if Obama's administration "lucked out" when this plot was thwarted. What with all this great press the Justice Department and Holder are getting, we are not surprised that he's trying to ride the wave into a guest spot on Entourage. Oh, why not? Eric, we'll give you one tiny little cameo and then it's straight back to work.

Financial regulatory reform is moving a bit faster than a snail's pace. First, we can't let some Dems off the hook for protecting the biggest of the biggest, to end "Too Big To Fail." Obama pressed lawmakers to keep stronger protections for consumers and wasn't afraid to go after the watered-down GOP proposal. Democrats led by Bernie Sanders struck a deal yesterday to limit a one-time audit of the Fed's lending activities, and protected the creation of a new consumer protection agency. A vote will likely come next week. Dry stuff!

Obama will be announcing his Supreme Court pick Monday, and all odds are on Kagan.

In case you missed it: The merger between United and Continental will go forward, pending a go ahead from DOJ, creating the world's largest airline. It's not all good news.

Got plans for next September 11?

The Week That Was

The Dow took its biggest roller coaster ride so far yesterday. Websites were shutting down left and right, and the media erupted in manic babbling (send a thank you to Jim Cramer, by the by). Many have been blaming the dip on the mystical "fat fingered trader," but really, it's a perfect storm of fear. Between anxiety over European financial collapse, anxiety over the future of bank regulation and anxiety over which button on the keyboard to push, the metaphorical dam had to burst. Get your t-shirts now.

The Arizona boycotts are rollin', as more stood up this week against these racist laws. Latino support for McCain has dried up. Arizona is pulling for bipartisan consensus (goooood luck) to repair some of the damage, but, as we've been saying all along, the issue will not go away until it is properly addressed. If you're not white and headed to Arizona, the A.C.L.U. knows how to help.

The end of spring also marks the beginning of primary season. Voters went to the polls in Indiana, North Carolina and Ohio. The Tea Party-endorsed candidates didn't fare well. What ever happened to voting incumbents out or taking back the country? Let's be real about who they really are. Speaking of candidates, Sarah's under fire after her endorsement of Fiorina -- her normally "safe" Facebook page has been taken over by unhappy fans, and speculation about her defiance of the Tea Partiers is raging. You guys, Sarah doesn't care. She's gonna do whatever the hell she wants, just because she can.

Rep. David Obey, chair of the House Appropriations Committee, stunned us all by announcing his retirement. Read his entire statement (for all its Dubya-bashing commentary) here. But seriously, Wisconsin, do you really want to send a reality star to Washington? ...Well, we've seen worse, we guess.

South Carolina's attorney general cleared Governor Mike Sanford of criminal conduct related to his trips to see his lover in Argentina and alleged misuse of state aircraft. Ain't it nice to have a buddy who just happens to be attorney general? In related news, disgraced former congressman James Traficant has filed papers to run in Ohio. Has Elvis returned?

Boston was running a little drier this past week thanks to a break in a major water pipeline. Water is now safe to drink again. Starbucks lovers rejoice! The Southeast received too much water, as flooding took more than two dozen lives. Of course, none of you knew about that at all, as apparently the media completely ignored Nashville. You tell 'em, Newsweek! Before WaPo sells you!

Are You Not Entertained?

In case you missed Obama killin' it at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, you can watch it here. Meanwhile, Justin Beiber managed a wave at the POTUS, though he may require a little more educatin'.

Miley Cyrus is scanda- you know what, no. Stop being surprised at this "becoming the next Britney" thing. It's inevitable!

Want to know what Glenn Beck's show would be like if he made sense?

Another day, another gay sex scandal. And another rape scandal. Yawn.

Poor Bristol. Honey, let your mom be the media spectacle, okay? You're much better off staying under the radar.

Interweb Tomfoolery

Queenie is noticing more and more of her friends leaving Facebook lately, in no small part due to the privacy glitch that occurred on Wednesday. But it's not the end of the service, kiddos -- don't forget that this is a corporation that is invested in your information. They don't HAVE to listen to you. (PS: They're trying to distract you with some shiny new services now. Be strong!)

Michelle Obama's first tweet! Well, kind of.

This Florida state senator needed a little distraction while on the job. Thanks for reminding us that you stand up for family values! Colbert takes a look at another hypocrite exposed.

This is freaking ridiculous -- Ellen, did Apple really make you apologize for making a parody iPhone commercial? And you actually CAVED? Comedians make jokes, people laugh, the end. And heads up, Apple -- it IS hard to text on an iPhone! So there!

Hey, Apple fan-kids. We're sorry we just made you feel bad about Ellen. We'll make it up to you: find your Apple love match today, and commiserate about it with someone other than that gadget in your hand, okay?

Out on the Town

A slightly slower weekend! We needed the break.

If you MUST find a party, the Capitol Skyline Hotel is having their first pool party of the season on Saturday, starting at noon. And the European Union, while simultaneously watching the stock market, will be holding an open house Saturday as part of Passport DC. Finally, the Smithsonian is celebrating Space Day -- take the kiddies to meet an astronaut, talk to astronauts living on the International Space Station and build their own rockets.

Queenie's plan, of course, is to go see Iron Man 2. Duh!

Shameless Self-Promotion

Here's an interesting piece by a former Turner team member about how social media is INCREDIBLY effective at organizing grassroots demonstrations. Take a lesson!

Scorecard

Queenie's taking a hard-won vacation next week, so she'll be checking in from afar. In the meantime, Royal Executioner Jon Soohoo will be taking the reins, so lend him a hand and send him some tips!

See you in two weeks!