Friday, March 5, 2010

The TR: Check Your Sources, Resign Before They Find Out the Truth and Listen to Your Presidents

Is that a taste of spring in the air? Or is Queenie just dreaming? Maybe one day her wishes will come true, because winter totally blows. Read on for the scandal, the reality, the silliness and the snark -- it's TR time, baby!

Forecast

Final push from Obama on health care reform. Can it be finished in two weeks? Harkin (and Pelosi, of course) say Democrats are moving forward, no matter what, and Stupak is still getting the attention he was looking for. Unfortunately, it's the kind of attention that can leave reproductive rights even more vulnerable.

A copy of an RNC finance strategy memo was allegedly picked up by someone on opposing team down in Florida. We wrote in the past of the RNC's spending habits, but here's hoping this presentation causes their contributors, or investors, as they call them, to close their wallets. Page 31 is clearly an olive branch to the teabagger fringe (we couldn’t resist). Don’t expect Dems to let this one die quickly.

Justice John Roberts will be retiring from the Supreme Court due to-- NOOO! Curse you, Georgetown Professor who started this rumor just to prove that news outlet don't verify what they report! YOU GOT US!

Senator Lieberman (who would have thought!) introduced a bill to repeal the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. Republicans are discrediting a Pentagon study about it as biased because it assumes Congress will soon repeal the policy. So we guess this wouldn’t be news to the Democrats, right?

Will John Edwards be indicted? Dammit, we hope so. SOMETHING needs to happen to this guy already.

Queenie just happens to ride the Blue Line back to her home sweet home, so when the shooting at the Pentagon happened last night her entire family started texting her in a panic. Luckily the two officers targeted were only superficially injured, but information about the shooter is leaking all over the place. In a social media twist, he had a blog and (only look if you want to be a little creeped out) YouTube videos. This is still the talk of the city at the moment, so expect to hear a bit more this weekend.

The Week That Was

Well, this has just been a terrible week for New York Dems. Another guv is in real trouble: the stench has been airing for months now about the doings of New York governor David Paterson. Paterson won’t be running again, much to the relief of New Yorkers. On the plus side, Tennessean -- we mean, New Yorker -- Harold Ford decided not to challenge Gillibrand. Maybe it had to do something with his pedicures? Finally, Charles Rangel gave up (temporarily) his coveted chairmanship of Ways and Means Wednesday. Had something to do with trips to the Caribbean. We were about to leave it at that, when Eric Massa dropped a bombshell and told us he’s leaving after serving only one term because of sexual harassment allega-- we mean, CANCER.

Jobs bill! Woohoo! Great to know SOMETHING gets passed every once in a while.

Never a dull day on the Hill -- and what day it must have been for the aide in this elevator. Keep it classy, Senator Bunning. Just remember the good ol' days. (By the way, sometimes, you have to wonder why CNN tries so hard to get no comment.) His "behavior" may put his fellow GOP’ers in a jam, and has ticked off thousands of furloughed workers across the country. But that hasn’t prevented them from winning the gold! Watch Jon Stewart’s take on the Bunning effect.

Another family values Republican is caught speeding drunk, on the taxpayers’ dime, after leaving a gay nightclub. The jokes write themselves! Why can’t we have these politicians duke it out on a legitimate platform?

Not even two months have passed since the disastrous quake in Haiti. Chileans are now facing their worst natural disaster in decades after an 8.8 magnitude earthquake shook their country late last Saturday and brought with it an unprecedented amount of chaos. But please, if you’re in the midst of a life or death situation, don’t make a fool out of yourself for 15 minutes of fame.

Are You Not Entertained?

This week reality TV flooded your homes in a torrent of beer-breath and desperation. We had a bachelor find his co-pilot in life, and, OMG, Queenie's feminism hurts: there's going to be a Bachelor video game for the Wii. We'd make jokes about using your controller and whatnot, but really... you can take it from here.

AND the new cast of Dancing with the Stars was announced, which included everyone from a former Baywatch babe to an astronaut to Kate Gosselin and the animal-like thing that lives on her head. We are REALLY rooting for Buzz Aldrin, y'all!

Brad and Angelina may be constant tabloid targets, but calling their 3-year-old little girl a lesbian goes WAY TOO FAR.

Speaking of people whose 15 seconds of fame should expire any day now, Sarah Palin made an appearance on Jay Leno. And that ties beautifully in with Queenie's Jersey Shore addiction, because, let's face it -- Sarah Palin IS Snookie. By the way, the Jersey Shore Oscars spoofs made our week! Beat the beat!

Interweb Tomfoolery

So, thanks to the Presidential Records Act, every Tweet directed to the White House and Press Secretary could be archived. As you can guess, this doesn't reflect well on the general populace.

Speaking of Presidents... Only could Opie himself could bring together all of the SNL comedic greats to help Obama navigate his way through the financial crisis of 2010. Even better, we get to see the return of W. and Bill Clinton's libido. (PS: Hooray for Jim Carrey!) Ghosts of Presidential pasts never seemed so alive!

Sure, Google Earth is fun and all, (and, yes, a little invasive), but recreating Biblical images as would have been seen from Google Earth? That seems like a bit of a stretch, no? But the pictures are purty and still worth a look.

Speaking of Google... really, Topeka? Really?

Dear Flacks: here is what most of the world thinks of "embargoes." Just FYI.

Have you been playing with ChatRoulette? Y'all, Queenie remembers "chat room scandals" and chatting on AOL Instant Messenger back in middle school (wow... flashbacks!) but this is a whole new ballgame. And journalists are LOVING it.

There’s a new iPhone app for you cheating Tiger fans! How dare you cover your tracks. Too bad this solution didn’t come soon enough for the fallen golfer.

Out on the Town

Everyone's excited that the snow melted, so this weekend looks a little nuts (and now that the NY Times finally thinks we're cool to party with, we're sure it'll be extra fun!). First off, do you like art? How about martinis? We got you covered! March 27th at the Corcoran you can do all your favorite things and more. And we're all about making dreams come true today, so if you've ever wanted to be in a music video this is your chance.

While we're encouraging you to be cultured, scope this poetry event supporting DC youth competing for the Poetry Out Loud finals and hosted by one of our favorite local rappers, Tabi Bonney. Queenie's inner English major CANNOT resist.

We're also starting St. Patrick's Day early, so if you like beer and/or whiskey (Jameson, natch), check out the Leprechaun Lap on Saturday. For the kiddies, you can head into Alexandria for the parade on King Street.

If you care about the Academy Awards, that's cool. Find other people who do around D.C. but don't expect Queenie to be there. She'll be checking out Alice in Wonderland on IMAX 3D!

Scorecard

A direct quote from a friend and TR fan: "I don't particularly care about politics any more because the entire "scene" just generally depresses me these days, but I just thought I'd let you know that I read these religiously and I'm probably better-informed than 70% of the country from it alone." Well... gosh! We love you too!

Until next week and as always,

No comments: