Friday, February 19, 2010

The TR: Curling is Awesome, Tiger is Attacking the News Cycle and CPAC Makes Us Giggle

We apologize for doing a disappearing act last week. Queenie and her team were completely and utterly SWAMPED with client work while all of you were playing in the snow. And, anyway, we're not so much fans of winter around here -- we prefer hanging out indoors and watching globally acclaimed athletes kick some ass instead. (Who knew curling could be SO entertaining?)

So what else is finally emerging from obscurity? Read on, kids -- the snark awaits!


Is the public option rising from the dead in the Senate? About time! Here’s hoping they can work their necromancy and actually accomplish something with this bill, since we’re pretty sure Obama’s ready to sign just about anything that has some words on it. Maybe even just pictures. A healthcare bill in comic book form would sum the process up pretty nicely, don't you think?

Buh-bye, Bayh! Yes, Indiana’s junior senator is calling it quits after two terms in the Senate. He didn’t give any hint about his plans, but apparently had been “thinking it over” for the better part of ’09. Both Indiana and national Democrats are feeling the burn, and despite chats with Obama and Rahm, Bayh said he’d had enough of Washington partisanship. ...Really? Sure, we believe you, Evan. Don’t worry -- the GOP isn’t too happy either with his sudden announcement. And poor Harry Reid can’t stop to catch a breath! (Speaking of, catch some sound bytes this weekend.)

We here at TR Central sat around watching Tiger apologizing today, like the rest of you. We yelled things, we rolled our eyes, we cracked jokes about his publicists -- but let’s face it, he’ll probably roll out of this one just fine.

The lovely First Lady is going to make the media rounds on her chosen issue, childhood obesity. It's certainly taken long enough -- yeah, we remember the garden too, but she has so much potential to use her voice and that title for so many good things! Where has she been? Oh.

We’re looking forward to seeing Sarah return to SNL in April. Although speaking of Palin, she’s gotten some recent media attention for the latest Family Guy episode that may have mentioned her in an indirect, completely politically incorrect way. And everyone keeps mentioning this candidacy thing. Our answer? Pfft. Still don't think she has a chance. But hey, let's keep bringing it up, why not...

The Week That Was

CPAC is in town this week, and a wonderful heap of comedy gold was lined up. To start, Tiger jokes have been the rage all day! Dick didn't have a heart attack. Maddow showed up. Marc Rubio, who’s running for the Senate in Florida, mocked the President for using the teleprompter (silly Queenie thought we couldn't make that joke anymore!). But, oh, guess it’s a-okay to commit the same crime. We forgive you -- you and your brethren bring GREAT ideas to the debate. Check out a new manifesto and marvel at the incredible diversity of the signers! The Tea Partiers aren’t all enchanted with the establishment, and everyone seems pretty antsy about a third party movement, so maybe November won’t be as bad as it's looking now. Chins up!

Obama met with the Dalai Lama at the White House Thursday. He canceled on him last year, and China is already having a hissy fit over this year’s gathering, so they understandably kept this one under wraps.

Mitt joked about a close encounter on a recent flight with a terrible rapper. Does anyone know if that was a stunt? We mean, dude is now in a rap beef. Does he even know what that means? Is it all to "beef" up his potential future run?

Speaking of flights, this Austin thing totally freaked us out. Every so often something tragic and sort of disturbing happens, and all you can do is hope it’s not a trend. Although, is it true we could call this “teabagger terrorism” or is that a bit much?

After a falling out with President Hamid Karzai, it appears that Ambassador Holbrooke is back on the mend and on the ground in the Middle East. He’s out of the icebox to make sure that Obama gets the representation he needs in Kabul.

What is UP with South Carolina? A state representative has the genius idea of banning federal currency in his state. Seriously. Well, since everyone hates the new penny, we guess that's the natural conclusion...

Michele Bachmann called what a fraud? Also, Franni Franken takes aim at her nonsense. Catfight!

There’s a gold rush in Vancouver! Get it? 'Cause it's the Olympics? ...Get it? *sigh* Ok, we haven't been watching THAT much, but at least Stephen Colbert is there doing the reporting for us. You know it's quality!

Interweb Tomfoolery

OMG, we found it! It’s the Map of the Future!.

Holy Glenn Beck. Our Royal Executioner found this gem for us just this morning, so it's still fresh!

This is making the rounds today: a retrospective of our President struggling to understand his American people. With goggles.

We know you know how to shorten URLs so that they fit better in your ever-engaging Twitter posts, but we’re bored with making things short. How about making them frightening?

What would the Pope listen to if he were stranded on a desert island? Well, obviously, the Beatles. See if your top rock albums match up.

We know there are Apple fans in the audience (no, please don’t raise your hands, no one cares about your AirMacBook or iPadTabletPhone whatever) but we’re hoping that you won’t consider doing this for your wedding. Although, points for the Steve Jobs impersonator.

Looking for a roommate, dude?! Take a lesson from this Craigslist ad and find the most AWESOME ROOMMATE EVER, YO.


Queenie is determined to check out Shutter Island this weekend. Not only did Scorsese direct, but holy flashback -- we love us some Leo!

What else is in the haps around the District? Queenie got tipped off about the Chinatown New Year's Parade this weekend, so she highly recommends! Oh, and if you're still curious about this curling thing, try your hand in person at a real live expo.

See? We just want you to up the cultural ante a little bit. Go to, fine friends! Have a wonderful weekend!

1 comment:

MattNRooBoyzWorld said...

OMG the Romney Rap beef video is hysterical! Crazy how they looped the soundtrack so the playahs were repeating themselve. Dig the dudes in their underwear, too. But scarifying your URL is too good -- theTurnerReport becomes drop a piglet 86 asian brides, which gives us all something to ponder...