Friday, December 4, 2009

The TR: Riding the Tiger, Gay Marriage Fail and All Hail the Comcast Overlords

In between bites of the supergross leftovers sandwiches you made after Turkey Day and going to see that vampire movie, it's okay if you forgot about the news. And maybe you forgot about the Prez's speech this week because you were hoofin' it on the treadmill like Queenie. But we KNOW you heard about Tiger. There's a lot to catch up on, class! Books out, welcome back!

Forecast

Now that that whole Afghanistan thing is done with (we're being sarcastic, people), the focus is shifting to jobsjobsjobs. The President has embarked on his White House to Main Street tour, starting in Allentown, PA, and doing what he does best: talkin'. His jobs summit and the resulting numbers are shifting the conversation, and it's clear that it's all the more necessary to make it look like the WH is doing something, even if that is to point and say, "Look! Improvement!" Expect punditry.

Also on next week's menu: O is headed to Copenhagen for the worldwide summit (we've been talking about it for so long we can't believe it's FINALLY happening). We're expecting more grand declarations with not a lot of follow through -- you know, the usual -- but in the wake of ClimateGate perhaps the summit will get a little more attention. Especially since Sarah's on the case!

We totally annoyed that MSM is took so long to catch on to the abortion and women's health legislation that could leave women's rights hanging in the balance, but, hey, as long as they're paying attention and the country starts hearing about it. Discussion is increasing about the recently-passed Mikulski amendment and the potential for an amendment barring abortion coverage in the Senate bill. Women, get yourselves out there if you're concerned about your reproductive rights. These women did.

Well, crap. So much for net neutrality. Comcast and NBC have merged in a huge business deal, which means they'll own a vast amount of the media you're watching (of course, they already do, but that's beside the point). Not nervous? Here. And Google is cracking down on paid content, closing the loophole that allowed users to read subscription websites for free. Look, we get that the Internet and the expansion of free media has made the TV and news industry a little desperate for viewers/money. But Comcast's move to own both the media and the way you view it means even less control over what you get to watch. Does that sound good to you?

Metro is outta cash, and this could mean fare hikes. You heard it here first.

The Week That Was

So are you supporting the President's plan for Afghanistan or are you against it? We just want to remind you: Obama said he would escalate troops in Afghanistan in his campaign for President, so what he decided isn't much of a surprise, and neither is NATO's contribution. But by no means is he wanting this to last forever, and we're curious if he'll really start bringing our troops home in July of 2011.

We don't know when gay marriage will finally become legal in all the 50, but New York certainly let us and our entire Twitter stream down when they voted against. Amazing, since everyone's been posting this amazing speech ever since. DC, however, was a small blessing, and New Jersey is now fired up to vote. Here's hoping this isn't a sign of momentum sizzling.

There has been more coverage of Tiger Woods' infidelity than pretty much anything else in the past few days, and, yes, we know we're only contributing to it right now, but daaammmnnn! We DO love a scandalous voicemail or two, ESPECIALLY when it's remixed into an R&B slow jam. Thanks for the distraction from the real world, Tiger!

Oh noes. Tai Shan, the National Zoo's only surviving giant panda cub, is finally off to China. Make sure to get your goodbyes in soon, everyone.

We had a LOT of fun with protest signs this year, so take a look back at some of the best of '09.

Fun Internet Things

Since we spend so much time on the web (it's our job!) we can't help running into funny/amazing/gross/weird things. Comes with the territory, really. So instead of hiding them throughout the TR like we've BEEN doing, this new section will help gather some of the latest amusing tidbits so you can share with all your friends. And then they'll think you're even MORE cool and hip. And then you can give us credit. H'ray!

Fun with eggs: remember this for your holiday baking party!

This is a little late, but if you plan on brushing your teeth tonight, remember to do it like a Spartan.

More Thanksgiving leftovers: did you see Paula Deen get hit in the face with a ham? Yeah, we felt bad for laughing too.

Cool nerd stuff: Google Street View of the ancient Pompeii ruins. Vacations are overrated, anyway.

Turns out Oxford University is actually Hogwarts. WE KNEW IT.

Nonja the orangutan is a total Facebook addict, but we're weirdly okay with it. Until she figures out Mafia Wars. Then we unfriend her. (Also in Facebook news, if Queenie's royal boyfriend did this at the altar, she'd totally change their relationship to "It's Complicated." Just warning you now, sweetie!)

Klingon is all the rage right now. If you have no idea what that means, just pretend you didn't hear us say that. You'll be happier that way.

Scorecard

HEY! Did you get our invitation to the Turner Holiday Party this year? If you're already in, awesome. If not... well, we can't say we'll miss you much. (Kidding!) Come hang out with Queenie and her royal court next Friday so you can show us all the snarking you've learned this year.

See you next week!

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