Friday, December 18, 2009

The TR: Cutting Down Healthcare, Decorating Bernanke and Returning the Gift of Joe Lieberman

Dear President Obama: We're scared. Not of these people in banana suits. Of the Republicans who are actually embracing this tea-bagging thing -- and NOT just the crazy ones. Your own party has been nervous and uncomfortable for weeks now, and it's starting to boil over. We're looking to you for a comforting fist-bump or two, sir. As a country.

Forecast

It's been a while since we truly snarked it up, and holy crap! What is happening? First off, Copenhagen. A "perturbed" Obama and an emphatic Hillary delivered speeches encouraging compromise from developing nations (spec. China), but nothing has been set in stone just yet, even though peeps are scrambling today for a last-minute deal on the "Copenhagen Accord." Watch for coverage, as talks are expected to last long into the night. Thom Yorke from Radiohead is asking world leaders to... why the hell is Thom Yorke in Copenhagen?

SNOW! Ack! House reps are fleeing Copenhagen so they won't get stranded overseas. Of course, DC flips out over heavy rain, so just the TALK of multiple inches of snow is making everyone paranoid -- even when they're on entirely different CONTINENTS. Don't believe us? Go check your Twitter feed.

Congress has been hustling on last-minute "not healthcare" votes so they can go home and be with their families or whatever, and that means February is gonna be juuust great. This clusterf%$# is unfortunately making a lot of us miss important votes, like this one where Repubs blocked war funding to delay healthcare legislation, or this one putting increased sanctions on Iran.

Next up: healthcare. It's been pretty much apeshit, what with throwdowns between Ben Nelson and Senate Democrats to hit the 60-majority, and the loss of the Medicare buy-in. Tensions are so high in the Senate that even holding Senators to their time limits is causing "scandal" and "funny Kanye spoofs." Lieberman, already pissing off pretty much everybody, may have endangered the bill's passage. And it's diluted to the point that attempts to really reform healthcare are getting lost. Kruggie has some choice words for progressives and the obstructionists that are f%$#ing up the process, adding to the split in the progressive camp between scrappin' the whole thing and passing it no matter what.

Here's a forecast for ya: the Royal Advisor and Queenie will feel confused when they see this giant bubble poking out of the top of the Hirshhorn. Art? Is THAT art? Someone explain this to us!

The Week That Was

TIME's Person of the Year was NOT Queenie, shockingly -- it was the Wizard of Oz Ben Bernanke, the Federal Reserve Chairman whom no one thinks deserved it. Maybe he should have gotten a Nobel Prize instead? Hey-oh!

In news that crossed our desks, made us go "WTF" and then promptly fell off our radar, Michael Steele is pretty much the coolest boss ever and Berlusconi, the Italian Premier, got punched in the face. Yep -- the world has pretty much gone to hell.

But wait! Hot damn! Marriage equality in DC, y'all! At least ONE cool thing happened.

But, oh no, guess who got hacked? Was anybody awake to see Twitter defaced by the Iranian Cyber Army?

Queenie is a Navy brat, and gets to hear all the time about the REAL military experience -- thanks, Dad! That stuff is HARD. Things go wrong, systems get compromised, Jack Bauer gets involved. It's very real. But everyone loves a good hacking story. Hearing about insurgents intercepting video feeds from Predator drones just made Queenie think of this. These stories have and will get published, so don't flip out, ok?

There are so many "Top ____ of 2009" lists right now! For grammar nerds, the year in media corrections. For journalism nerds, the top 10 stories you missed AND the top 50 headlines of the year. For the snarkiest, the top 10 worst predictions. Screw it: here's the top 10 everything of 2009, ok? Now be good and waste the rest of your workday nicely, kids!

Interweb Tomfoolery

To those who put up Christmas Trees: your tree is now on Twitter, and he is PISSED.

Queenie watched 24 obsessively for the first few seasons (can you tell from all the Jack Bauer references this week?), but it's been a while since it was any good. And THIS is what she missed. "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR... SANTA?!"

This isn't really web-related but it's been making the rounds today: a four-year-old got drunk and stole Christmas so he could be with his daddy in jail. We really couldn't make that up.

Here, this will make you feel better: the rockin'-est Nativity scene ever. (Although for the record, we are NOT pro-Chris Brown. We're actually pro-Stephen Colbert, who is NOT pro-bears, although this bear is pro-lions and tigers, and that is awesome.)

Finally, speaking of tigers, Queenie's Tiger Woods Mistress Name is Tiff Smith from Germany. The Royal Advisor's is Mary Lee from Alabama. What's yours?

Scorecard

Didja have a nice time partying with us? Thank you SO MUCH for helping us celebrate our brand new Queenie-boo! (Was way too mortified to make a decent speech, but loved all the bowing down and handkissing, natch.) We sure are lucky to have such amazing Royal Subjects!

Find Queenie harking back to her Polish roots and baking kolaches this weekend (but don't ask for the recipe, or her Royal Grandmother will have to Jack Bauer you) and checking out Invictus (Matt Day-mon!). Also, get ready for DC Restaurant Week coming up in January -- Queenie HIGHLY recommends Volt by Should-Have-Won-Top-Chef Bryan Voltaggio (swoon!). Still need some holiday fun ideas? Go test out your DJ skills next Tuesday at ESL, and, um, watch a holiday movie on the side of a building near Turner Central. ...Yeah, we don't get it either.

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