Friday, September 11, 2009

The TR: Teabaggers Take on DC, Stossel Jumps Ship and YOU LIE!!

Everyone on Twitter is sharing their "Where were you on 9/11?" stories (Jake Tapper's feed is a great read today), and we're sure you've been caught in the traffic outside. Avoid the Metro accidents and boat scares and hang out with the TR instead. Although we can't offer free burgers and bus rides, we're nice, safe AND entertaining. Invite us to your next potluck!

Forecast

With Democrats planning to move forward with the healthcare debate next week, unveiling a compromise bill and declaring they'll do it with or without Republican support, we can expect more whining from the radical right. Don't think this thing will get wrapped up nicely with a big ol' bipartisan bow? Neither do we. (By the way, didn't think reproductive rights will be included in the bill? We didn't either.) If anyone you know still needs help understanding this whole debate, however, this handy illustrated (stick figures!) video may assist.

Media update: as other publications begin to falter (we're looking at you, Drudge), Bloomberg is headed the other direction, with possible plans to expand their operation. Also, Google is developing a plan for newspapers to charge for content via micropayments. Also, look for Jenna Bush's debut as a reporter next week, and Mark Foley's radio show. (Think he'll talk about sexting?)

Dems are against war? That's crazy-talk! Reports are in that the Dems are again on Obama's case when it comes to the war in Afghanistan. According to the AP, "the White House is in the process of compiling a list of about 50 benchmarks to judge whether the military mission is working" by September 24. So much for party unity -- while Mr. Wilson was a great distraction during the speech last Wednesday, it may not have been enough.

So we'll totes be able to shimmy on down to the White House and pick up some fresh, Presidential produce (get your mind out of the gutter). This sounds like the perfect lunch date! Not that the Culture Minister is hinting or anything. Ahem. Expect to see lots of our favorite treehugger and lost hipster friends.

We here at Turner are really only interested in the pre-game parties and snarky new commercials of football season, but we do get a kick out of our friends who believe they're better at building teams than the pros are. Good luck, people.

Although the Oscars don't take place until next YEAR, you can fight for your rights to some bleacher seats starting next WEEK. Oh, America. Queenie is already plotting to buy her dress now, just in case. Rachel Zoe, where are you when we need you??

The Week That Was

We've been peeing ourselves with laughter over the outcry after YouLie!-gate. Poor Joe Wilson. He acted out a YouTube comment in real life! Unfortunately, Joe (a.k.a. "G.I. Joe," "The Next Sarah Palin," "Sticking to the Party Lines," "Tourettes," "My Website is Temporarily Unavailable," "Crap, How Much Money is Rob Miller Getting Again?") looks a little red-faced, but he's trying to capitalize on his moment. So much for sincere apologies.

Also capitalizing? The nutjobs, who are coming en masse to DC for some good old-fashioned teabagging. ThinkProgress has the scoop. WOOOO! TEAPARTY BUS! Hope you got your t-shirt!

So will Wilson apologize on the floor? Probably, since he did cross the line. You know, Tyson's Corner isn't that far away -- couldn't he stand out there with a sign? Is Joe Wilson racist? We'll leave that up to you. But it's true that it could have been anyone and that this lowers the bar for future Congressional behavior -- and that's not a surprise.

Anyway, enough already. There are now more Americans living in poverty than in the last 11 years, and the number of uninsured has reached 46.3 million. Priorities, kthx.

Is our babies racist? Or just crazy? Newsweek (with a lesson in "Provocative Covers 101") set out to see if our children see color a la Stephen Colbert, and the answer is, well, yes. Schools are also looking into having mental health experts and therapists on hand for children as young as preschoolers, which sounds sort of nutty in theory but might actually make sense. Parents out there? Give us your feedback!

John Stossel?! Our Culture Minister remembers watching him on 20/20 when she was in middle school. Seriously. Anyway, he’s jumping ship to Fox, and Queenie (and everyone else) sez, “It’s about damn time, mister.”

Have you been tracking the gender identification case of athlete Caster Semenya? The champion runner was made to undergo a controversial gender identification test after winning a gold medal at the 2009 World Championships. After weeks of publicity and possible coercion into a makeover, the 18-year-old’s test results may have been leaked, revealing that she is intersex and may be stripped of her medal. We can’t even begin to process the amount of misreporting and abuse this poor girl has gone through.

Finally, yes, we are really this desperate for material.

In Memoriam, 9/11 Edition

There are tons of great tributes all around the web and on Twitter, so we'll let them do the talking. Also, check out the September 11 Digital Archive.

Obama's Editorial on the NY Daily News

The Washington Post, Washington Marks Sept. 11 Anniversary

Associated Press, "9/11 Marked With Mourning and the Spirit of Service"

Julie Pippert, "The American People in Their Righteous Might"

BBC News, US Marks 9/11 Amid Shooting Scare

Chicago Tribune, Photo Tribute

9/11 -- The iPhone App

Scorecard

We're hitting the main points, as usual. But could you do us a favor and put the TR up on your Facebook page? We KNOW your friends would love us too!

So whatcha up to this weekend? The nerdier among you might be hitting up the Maryland Renaissance Festival, now on its third week. Poptarts might be hanging out with Perez Hilton at the 930 Club for his latest tour. Foodies can head over to Friendship Heights for some street snacks. Virginia girls like the Culture Minister can head to Old Town for a fun arts festival. And, to top it off, Adams Morgan is having a festival of their own. Stay busy, people!

Snark on and see you next week!

1 comment:

Paul said...

South Carolina has a long list of dignitaries that includes Lauren Caitlin Upton (Miss Teen USA 2007 pageant contestant), Board of Education Chair, Kristin Maguire, Governor (and avid Appalachian hiker), Mark Sanford and now Joe “the hater not a debater” Wilson or the “screamer not the dreamer” as others have dubbed him. I did enjoy him cut and running through his apology, which only goes to show that he stands for nothing. He is just another good old boy where in the morning these married men preach to you that there should be prayer in our schools and in the evening they are on their cell phones setting up a date with their other women on the side, hypocrisy has been bred in. I am not surprised that he felt compel to yell like he was at some Friday night game. So long Joey, you too will be seeing the unemployment lines.