Friday, July 10, 2009

The TR: Rubbernecking, Freak Shows and the Real Deal

Ye gods, return from two weeks at the beach and it's still all-MJ, all-Palin, all the time! Meanwhile, the economy's still tanking, Kim Jong Yosemite Sam Il is up to several kindsa no good and, other than the cool and breezy DC weather, things are kinda scary. (This TR is a doozy, so make yourselves comfortable, please!) Looks like rubbernecking the celeb freak shows (um, LOL @ Marion Barry!) is all we have to ease our pain. That and this.

Forecast

Want a blow-by-blow report of the SotomayOR hearings next week? The Huffington Post will getcha a front row seat. Ok, maybe not FRONT-front ROW, but blogger Doug Kendall will be blogging live from the hearing room to keep us up to speed on the haps. You can also check it out on PBS and CSPAN -- you know, if you're boring and old... (we kid!). Want to know WHO will be testifying next week? If you thought only political bigwigs, lawyers and firefighters from Connecticut would be speaking out, have we got a surprise for you... how about baseball pitcher David Cone? And then a bunch of bigwigs, lawyers and firefighters.

Eep -- cyber attacks! Word is it came from an Axis of Evil. Wait, can we say that now?

Sporting a sling with a State Department logo (WTF), Hillary Clinton reappears to deliver a major foreign-policy speech at the Council on Foreign Relations in Washington next week. FYI, speech will be a PR effort as much as it will be a national policy update. But you knew that, didn't you? Such smarty-pants!

Despite Speaker Pelosi's efforts to push the healthcare bill out to committees by next week (and, y'know, squashing that whole MJ resolution), the conservative pack of Blue Dawg Dems sent a letter to House leaders asking for more time. Boo on them for not focusing on this effort over the course of the last several years and for not being ready for this debate. And louder boos for members of the coalition, like Mike Ross (D-AR), who are threatening to vote against the bill if it moves too fast. Remember, Ross is one of 44 dems who voted against the much needed cap and trade bill. We're not sure we can count on his vote no matter HOW slow the process of healthcare reform moves -- and, dude, it's gonna be slow.

Gay marriage update: DC is the next legislative battleground, Massachusetts is challenging DOMA and remember how Elton John is, like, gay and stuff? Please explain this to us.

For those on Queenie's team who are SOL (Sick of Lance! See what we did there?), next week may bring some relief as long as Swiss rider Fabian Cancellara holds onto the yellow jersey in the Tour De France. (You DO know that's going on, right?) With Armstrong only seconds behind Cancellara, there's a chance he'll take the yellow jersey for the first time this season. But does he HAVE to take over the ESPN Tour website? Queenie's team is demanding a Lance blackout, but isn't likely to get their wish anytime soon.

One of our new favorite blogs deserves a shout-out: Unsuck DC Metro has been keeping us aware of all the Red Line Fails since the crash, which, by the way, will continue indefinitely. Bookmark it, DC folks!

The Week That Was

Oh no. He. DIDN'T! Wolf Blitzer did NOT do several consecutive shows on the King of Pop! Yes he did, dear readers. And (gasp) TR Central was forced to watch FOX to get some news. Thank God for newspapers, or we would have had no idea what was going on in the world. Oh, wait, they're dropping like flies.

Did you watch the MJ funeral? Yeah, yeah, you and 3 million of your friends. We had it on in the office and our youngest staffers were hoping you could answer: why the hell was Queen Latifah there? Anyway, it was well-done. Let the wacky post-funeral controversies begin! (Is his brain back with his body yet?)

Jeb Bush said Obama might be a socialist and had a secret plan all along. Yawn. What is UP with these Republicans?

Anyway, O's been busy this week. Doing what, you ask? Trying to curb the spread of nukes? Yup. At the G-8 summit? Of course! Hangin' with the Pope? Durr. Potentially being kind of pervy, but not really, because it's all contextual, and, anyway, everybody does it? You decide! (Just a note: lots of people like to take things out of context. We're looking at you, Hannity.) Here was our favorite cute-First-Family article of the week, by the way. It'll make you feel all cuddly. He just got to Africa today, so go flip on CNN already. Geez. We can't do ALL the work for you people.

PS: One of our favorite things about Twitter? Getting the 411 on things like the G-8 summit from attendees like Sarah Brown. And, hey, the Royal Family!

We couldn't do just one screed on international news this week, so here's a shortlist: violence and earthquakes in China; great news from Uganda; more from Iran; journalists still jailed in N. Korea; and violence since the Iraq pullback. And you NEED to read these 10 reasons the US isn't freaking out about Honduras.

Here is the Queen's mini-tribute to Palin (whom, liberal elite media, the vast bulk of voting conservatives LOOOVE, despite our Culture Minister's nasty digs). Thank you, Sarah, for lowering the bar. Thank you for making it okay for wacky, mediocre women to have a chance at the political big show. Women used to have to be better than anyone else to get into the club -- now the bar has officially been lowered to the male entry point. (Note from our Culture Minister: "'Blah, blah, blah, equality for all, etc.' I'd like to respond with: Department of Law. Think she'll go for 2012?")

Someone heard us ranting about the Real World haters and joined our ranks, and, just for that, we're linking to him. Right on, bro!

Scorecard

Just loved how many of you responded to our July 4th "are you EVEN in the office" with chatty notes about where you were. And it wasn't the office. Kudos!

Also got a thumbs up for "less snark" and, counter-intuitively, a pat on the back for "great snark." Um... thanks? We think?

Homework assignment: Practice dropping your Rahm Bombs this weekend. We'll see those shining faces bright and early on Monday. Class dismissed!

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