Friday, June 26, 2009

The TR: RIP MJ, Sanford's Tan Lines and Total Twitter Twoverload

Did your Internets collapse under the weight of all the news this week? Goodness gracious! We haven’t had such an exciting time with our Google Readers since... well... actually, that sounds kind of dirty. Never you mind. Read on for sex scandals, celebrity deaths (real AND fake), Palin’s attempts at staying relevant and lots of “getting Gibbs wet” jokes from the press. They were DYING to write those headlines, we’re sure.

Forecast

FYI, y’all, Congress is going into recess today. Probably recovering from the first-ever White House Luau; we found loads of stories about dunk tanks, Sasha’s awesome throwin’ arm (Title IX, people!) and, OMG, the most adorable Barack/Michelle moment ever. Where was our invite, Obama? Nevermind -- Queenie and her princes are off frolicking on the REAL beach. Hah.

Anyway, bipartisanship gets a brand new test at the RNC v. DNC softball spectacular tonight. Love, love, LOVE the trash talk.

The name "Neda" has been on everyone's lips since the young woman's death was broadcast all over the web this week, but we're worried that she and the election in Iran will get overshadowed by all the other news this week and next. Read this amazing piece from the Women's Media Center about how Neda became a symbol, and keep looking for more stories as Obama takes a firmer stance.

The California budget crisis will soon be solved! How? They are RUNNING OUT OF MONEY. State Comptroller John Chiang plans to "start issuing IOUs next week to local governments, private contractors, state vendors, and to taxpayers awaiting tax refunds.” That’s the way to fix the struggling economy -- leave all of those who have done business with the state hanging, so they in turn can’t pay employees or even their own utility bills!

Remember that whole “there’s a war going on” thing? The US military is preparing for a withdrawal by June 20th (that’s next Tuesday), and attacks are ramping up. But some people don’t believe we’ll even get a withdrawal.

Bernie Madoff's sentencing is next week! Place your bets now!

Sarah Palin is trying to stay afloat as the GOP's number one contendah, but so far she's just staying outraged as people take digs at her (wait, she made a joke!). Sigh. This will get old fast.

Dear summer interns: you know we love you. We know your parents have told you this, and you’re probably so tech savvy you don’t need the advice, but be careful what you Tweet. Marion Berry is watching.

The Week That Was

SEX SCANDALS! LIES! TAN LINES! Just a day in the life of American politics, dearies. And for all you naysayers out there -- we’re sorry, both Republicans AND Democrats are screwing around and getting caught. We love Andrea Dew Steele’s take on all this, though: what if Nancy Pelosi skipped off to another country on Mother’s Day to get some extra-marital attention? Would a press conference and some tears get the media off her back that quickly? Weeeee don’t think so... hell, Sanford's already back at work.

Didn't these "gay demon" fearing Christians know that exorcism only works if the actual dude from "The Exorcist" is in the room? Kidding aside, we really hope the kid in this video is ok.

Other scandals this week? Perez Hilton. LOL! This started as welcome comic relief for us AND Zac Efron (hmmm... Hollywood feeding itself its own entertainment...) but it's turning something a bit more serious. Here's the rundown: gay blogger gets punched by music exec after insulting him with a gay slur. Gay blogger sues and tries to donate money to Matthew Shepard Foundation. Foundation refuses because he used a gay slur. Kelly Clarkson pretty much summed it up here.

Are race relations any better under Obama? Most people are saying no (and the Transformers movie, which our Culture Minister highly recommends viewing on the big, big, BIG screen, is a shining example). What do YOU think? (On a related note, our marketing intern found this gem of a website that will teach you how to treat your white colleagues in the work place. Phew! Finally, someone tells us!)

Here, this will make you laugh: Meghan McCain thinks she's a pundit. Teehee!

In Memoriam, Red Line and Red Carpet Edition

What. A. Week.

First, the biggest tragedy in Metro's history. We're sure you heard (or maybe were there) when there was a crash on the Red Line this week, and we're sure your friends across the country were Tweeting/emailing/calling you within minutes. Our hearts go out to the victims and their families.

Then Our Culture Minister yesterday was shocked to hear people shouting “MICHAEL JACKSON DIED!” into their Blackberries as she walked to Farrugut West. After some quick texting, it was confirmed: au revoir, Roi de la Pop.

WTF, man? We’re as upset as the rest of you. And MJ Tweets were 30% OF THE TWITTERSPHERE this morning; all 10 of CNN’s top stories were, yep, about MJ; Google, Bing, Twitter, TMZ, Perez, the LA Times -- hell, the internet broke, you guys. Talk about star power. We'll miss you, MJ.

And this on top of Ed Macmahon’s and Farrah Fawcett’s real deaths, AND Jeff Goldblum’s and Harrison Ford’s fake deaths. (Oh, and death of Perez Hilton’s popularity, but that’s, like, whatever.)

Scorecard

We're doing our best to keep these Report's comin', people. See how we love you? That said, next week there's a three-day-weekend, and we don't love you that much. Take a break for some fireworks and we'll see you soon!

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