Friday, May 1, 2009

The TR: Piggy Pandemic, Even More Twitter News and Specter the Defecter

Took a bunch of pigs to get Sibelius confirmed, and, no, we're not talking about Congress. But better late than never... Pin on the paper surgeons mask and cuddle up! We have so much to tell you about pretty boy John Edwards!
Forecast

Of course the big media... er... sausage will continue to be the pig pandemic. And there's more fun and games to come. We'll have a congressional hearing next week on how schools and businesses are prepared to handle the outbreak. Cablenets are already screeching about pandemic overkill -- they're just irritated that they can't opine on less important things.

And just who let Papa Biden out to fan the hysteria? Is logorrhea a symptom? (Kind of rhymes with hog-diarrhea, and just as hard to spell...) Or does he have foot-in-mouth disease? Who can blame the man, though -- hundreds of schools closed, a member of Energy Secretary Chu's team already ill -- verily the man may speaketh truth.

Oh, EXCUUUUUSE ME, USDA Secretary Vilsack wants us to call it H1N1 Virus, and O complies. Sounds like "heiny virus." The American Meat Institute and WHO prefer North American Flu. What say you, flacks and flackettes, politicos, bloggers and columnists who gobble up our tasty little e-zine -- good messaging, or finger in the dike? NPR would like you to 'fess up! It's a rough situation. There's only human-to-human transmission, but the ignorant are eschewing pork products and our trading partners are always on the outlook to push their products ahead of ours....

Inspector Spector Defector will be the toast of the talk shows this weekend, and we'll have the popcorn. We love our friend David Broder, the ancient political scribe at WashPo who actually remembers when beloved Defecto was a Democrat! But, more to the point, says Broder, "[t]here are no Republican House members left in New England. A traditionally Republican House seat in Upstate New York has flipped to the Democrats, and both coasts, the Southwest and the upper Midwest are increasingly voting for Democrats."

Meanwhile, the DNC eyes GOP seats as the Grand Old Party considers re-branding. Lest we get TOO happy, Prince-Consort The Crank, as he badgers her with Limbaugh, Beck and Hannity's talking points ad infinitum (harsh before coffee, let me tell you), constantly reminds Queenie over breakfast that Republicans are NOWHERE NEAR dead, and in fact, still control the conversation through talk radio.

Well, we don't know where YOU learned about Souter (CNN?), but we know from Twitter HOURS before you did. Expect lots of conversation next week on O's replacement pick.

The Chrysler union-financed bailout will continue to make headlines. Some argued that the squeeze on car companies was designed to kill the unions. Now they're a 55 percent partner. Wonder if that will help change the dynamic to make car companies profitable? Oh, just give me a sleek little coupe that runs on vegetable oil and I'll be your slave forever!

Speaking of, we finally have climate action: The House Energy and Commerce Committee is scheduled to take its first vote on the bill next week. Note that Gingrich thinks Obama could lose his job over this bill, but Queenie votes for giving O a secondand third term instead...

Elizabeth Edwards tells all in a new book due out May 12th. It's hitting newsroom desks next week, so we're sure you've already gotten all the good bits on Twitter. If not, expect to hear about vomiting in the bathroom, begging Johnny boy not to run for Prez, etc.

Hockey! Hockey! Hockey! The Washington Capitals begin play this weekend (Game 1 Friday night) against Philadelphia Penguins after a squeaker with the Rangers. Place yer bets now! Caps, Caps, Caps!

The Week That Was

The Obama 100 Day Report Cards were issued, and everyone had something to say -- much of it contradictory. Obama's presser left us wondering if this is too much exposure. Are we seeing too much of our dreamy President? FOX was like, "Yeah, you are!" -- and didn't air it. Politically motivated or did they need the money THAT badly? In any event, the Queen has stopped getting her fix from stuffy old broadcast, as she prefers the "bad smoking kids back stage" quality of Tweets from the press gallery. Speaking of, have you seen this?

The Air Force One plane flew near the site of the 9/11 attacks, causing evacuations, panic and sheer embarrassment all around. Who thought this was a good idea? I mean, really?!

The GOP ain't doing so well on the gay marriage thing (and to that we say, YAY!) but they're still trying. Miss CA is on the boat, too -- she's in the new NOM ad and still in the papers for comments that might have cost her the Miss USA crown. Maybe Americans are finally embracing civil rights? The New Hampshire and Maine Senates voted to legalize gay marriage. Queenie, however, just wants her stylist to match the pretty loudmouth's hair color.
And about pretty hair.... Jordan's Queen Noor was SO not offended by her forced wait to enter the White House. Seems guards agreed she was way too hot to be a queen. And besides, her passport must be wrong as she couldn't possibly be a day over 25 (give or take).

Back to equality... we celebrated Equal Pay Day on Tuesday, and were sickened by reactions to articles about the wage gap. These people... go read it for yourself and leave a comment (or three). If they want a debate, they should get it!

The future of Twitter? Maybe no Twitter at all. Microsoft Vine combines aspects of Twitter, Facebook, Google and is meant to be used for crises, but, hey, looks fun for everyday! Is this another passing idea, or will it actually take off?

Scorecard

TURNER RULES!!!!

Well, it had to come. There's a crazy busy PR firm laboring behind the Turner Report and we have knocked the doors off these last few weeks. On April 21, we got a national (and online) media grandslam for client Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation when they released a survey showing roughly a million more people paralyzed than previously thought. All the national newspapers, all the networks, firestorm in the blogosphere... life is good. Thanks to AAUW, we were able to generate editorials and op/eds all over the country demanding equal pay for equal work, and of course, create more sturm und drang chez blogosphere.

See you next week, kittens! Keep those paper masks on and get thee to a Tamiflu dispenser (erm, doctor) if you've got flu symptoms!

7 comments:

Bootheel girl said...

Hey there! TR as always -- love your stuff. Want to report that I'm living on the edge -- last night I went to a MEXICAN restaurant and had PORK enchiladas. So far, no symptoms. Tomorrow i visit Cape Girardeau, MO, hometown of Rush -- sad to report that we were once in a reporting class together.....which is the lesser evil -- swine flu or Rush -- or are they the same?????

Suzanne said...

LOVE YOU, my Bootheel grrrrrlllll!!!! xxoo

Suzanne said...

Btw, to answer your question, it's hard to know whether the undermining of democracy or the death of toddlers is worse. I'll leave you to judge -- and keep eating those pork enchiladas, baby!

Hank said...

Good Evening My Queen,

Um, no. Use thy scepter and whack that editor: Caps Game 1 is *Saturday* afternoon against the Scranton Penguins – Biden moved the team when everyone was distracted by this week’s “gaffes”.

Your Loyal Subject,

iii

Suzanne said...

loyal iii - editor thoroughly bashed. (dazed queen still reeling from self-bashing)

well, what the hell doth I know about hockey?

QoS

Gwen said...

Oh, Queenie,
Thou crown doth get tarnished, a bit, with the sports/geography screw-up...This little Nittany Lion (ie, Penn Stater, which is half way between Pittsburgh and Philly) is here to tell you that the PITTSBURGH Penguins are in the NHL playoffs, while the Philadelphia FLYERS are at home (well, maybe they are in the playoffs, but they're not playing the Caps). Your GPS needs a good dust-off, doll. Give theyself a lash or two!

Suzanne said...

Beaten, lashed - somehow the Queen KNEW it had to be about sports! When a leading human rights advocate recommends lashing, it's got to be a severe mistake!