Friday, April 10, 2009

The TR: Piracy, Passover and Pissing Away Armageddon

We started the week with Korean missile launches, yo ho ho'd thru a pirate brouhaha and ended it with a White House e-mail misfire. Or maybe it was that woman who wants to marry the Eiffel Tower. Or the lady that shot her son on the firing range. In any event, why is this night different from all the others?

Forecast

The Sunday shows will be doing a foreign policy Obama-rama, starting with a Meet the Press roundtable. Just in time, as Yosemite Sam-Kong-Il enjoys a popular surge post-nuke-testing, we amp up things in Afghanistan, Iraq isn't looking so hot and Somali pirates menace shipping lanes.

Let's talk about Afghanistan, shall we? Until the pirate story blew the White House-placed Afghani news out of the water, all we could hear about was Afghanistan this, Afghanistan that. Queenie felt quite menaced in her DC office suite. Even Papa Biden chatted with Wolf Blitzer about the problem. Tell us -- what do you think of the administration's aggressive outreach on the issue?

Tiny lifeboat vs. great big Navy warship... and it's a TIE?! People are having all kinds of fun reporting on those pirates, but it is a TINY bit serious. Not to mention a PR disaster (thanks, Forbes) for the world's strongest military. Here's a little shout out for local journalism (or perhaps local PR): apparently a small school in Southern Maryland trained the rescue crew with their special course in -- you guessed it -- pirate rescue. Brave new world?

Say it ain't so! Seems Obama is worse than Bush on warrantless wire-tapping. Guess it isn't so funny for TR Central staffers to yell "Allahu Akbar" into the phone periodically while staring at the White House just out the window. We just KNOW they're tapping us.

Congress is still away next week, but no rest for the wicked. RNC Chair Michael Steele is stirring up all sorts of trouble for U.S. Census takers. Soon we may have a world where no conservative Republicans deign to be counted. And that would solve their concerns... how, exactly? Let's hope to hear more about this next week.

Can't you just hear Sascha piping up, "why is the night different from all the others?" This shiksa goddess is totally digging a White House seder hosted by our socialist Muslim president (okay, now I'm just quoting Rush). Bowing to Saudi princes one week, donning a yarmulke the next. Just too bad about that little forwarded e-mail gaffe.

The Week That Was

Little Timmy Geithner is everywhere. But, ye Gods, pollsters rush to tell us voters blame TIMMY -- NOT O -- for any problems we may face. Not quite sure about that distinction, or why we need to make it. Or even why Larry Summers gets to tell us Cap and Trade will make us all so much money. Right message, wrong messenger.

But let us get back to Timmy... Nobel Prize-winning economists Joseph Stiglitz, Paul Krugman and everyday economist James Galbraith are sounding the alarm. No wonder Dem operatives are setting Timmy up for the fall. Because Obama can break UAW union contracts. And the New York Times can bust Boston Globe union contracts. But we must hew to the "rule of law" (Larry Summers again) on Wall Street contracts. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

We were soooo excited about the good news from Vermont AND DC! So much so that we REJOICE in posting this map of the "plague of gay marriage" spreading across the country. Just love it when civil rights and constitutional protections get extended across our good land!

Although there's something we didn't want to put in the Forecast. We are hoping this hateful little ad campaign -- and the unfortunate free air time it dusted up (could someone PUH-LEEEZE media train those poor HRC people? Really!) -- falls into our collective imagination trash heap. I mean, do YOU feel your freedoms are threatened by gay marriage? I thought not.

This Queen would like to give a tip of the hat to Queen Noor, who knighted Colbert this week. Well, someone had to. Btw, we're totally rooting for him to win this battle against NASA -- shouldn't the space agency be all about this free press and attention?

In Beltway-Insider Gossip News, Rove-y's bad week continued when he and Tom Sweeney's former Chief of Staff apparently got into it at dinner. Hillary's getting creative so she can pay off her campaign bills (WARNING: SAFE FOR WORK). And psst... remember the White House Puppy?

Reader Comments

Folks thought the iPod was a fine, fine gift for the Queen of England. So sorry to suggest she needed ANOTHER Baccarat Eagle in her closet of gifts from the former colonies...

Scorecard

More raves, thank you, my dah-links.

Now off to hide the Easter Eggs! Enjoy your weekend -- if you make it to the White House, pick us up a souvenir, won't you?

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