Friday, February 20, 2009

The TR: Goat Rodeos, Turkey Rape and Homeless Food Registries

You say you wanna revolution... well, well... you know... have you really seen the polls? The Queen has gone all swivel-headed, dread-locked and sans culotte, and is telling Rush and that whack job on CNBC to bring it, yeah, bring it ON, BABY!


O's first congressional address is sure to focus on the economy, even as we weather yet more of The-Worst-Financial-Info-In-Some-Time. Yes, the Dow's tanking, the world economy is flatlining, and everyone wants to blame it on the O and the stimulus package. But, hey, listen up, weenie heads, 'cause we're gonna be subtle here: MAIN STREET STILL NEEDS HELP AND DOESN'T WANT TO PAY FOR WALL STREET BAILOUTS. O's public opinion numbers are still high among the general public, as is support for his recovery plans.

Expect the White House (and the buzz it generates) to remain strongly in favor of the common man, even as financial and inside-Beltway-baseball media tear their hair out -- and even as responsible conservatives incorrectly blame minority lending practices and swear revolution rather than paying off other peoples' bad mortgages.

Wall Street analysts may not want to pay their tax dollars for failed mortgages, unemployment benefits and shovel-ready projects that get people working... but helloooo, FAT CATS, Main Street don't wanna pay for your ****-ing Wall Street junkets, CEO golden parachutes or purchase of banks. Didn't want to last spring, still don't want to now. Remember this, lawmakers?

Of course, we do know that tax cuts solve EVERYTHING. Here's a handy little calculator to see exactly how many of your problems could be fixed with a little tax code love.

(Ahem.) Here's what we really want: 1. Dems don't keep caving on messaging, 2. Administration keeps its drum beat going, and 3. NO ONE underestimates the powerful siren song of angry white men on the radio.

We're hoping for a spanking brand new HHS nominee next week. But -- wait! Will it be Sebelius? Or someone else? C'mon, we know you've got a crystal ball under your desk somewhere.

And expect some more local drama as the Senate considers D.C. voting rights.

Will the final ax fall on Burris next week, even as we learn more about Rahmbo's tax scandal from the right-wing? There will be hubris and media tango a-plenty from Burris while Rahm slips under the MSM radar. Nothing sums it up quite like this "goat rodeo" act in the thriller "Revenge of Blago III."

The Queen is such a history nerd (pushes up glasses) that we MUST give this shout out to the annual reading of Washington's Farewell Address in the U.S. Senate next week (2 p.m. on Feb 23rd, if you'd like to attend). Every year the lucky Senator who reads Washington's remarks gets to sign this book -- take look back over history.

Where would we be without the Oscars? Be still my beating heart: Oscar-inspired Jennifer-Brangelina red carpet face-off? Slumdog Millionaire running off with all the honors? And, of course, Heath Ledger's family in from Australia in hopes he wins posthumous honors for his psychopathic Joker? Let us know about your party plans, peeps!

And, speaking of, next Tuesday is Mardi Gras! No throwing beads from DC office buildings, sadly. (Although, if you see any, snap a picture and send it to us!)

The Week That Was

O and Hill started a much-needed "Hello, World! [heart], the U.S." publicity tour. Hillary gets a big thumbs up for her Asian love-fest. Meanwhile, O reassured the world that he really does love free trade while he hobnobbed in Canada.

The economy, the stimulus, car companies and homeowners dominated the coverage last week, even as automakers skulked out of town (yet again) without their full bailout dreams realized. Check out this comparison of what rocked the MSM and where social media headed with these stories.

It was an exciting week for Facebook. New legal counsel (most recently employed legalizing terrorism for Bush AG Gonzalez) [link] had a bit of a dust-up when FB publicly announced: "We can do anything we want with your content. Forever." Tens of thousands responded, "NO WAI." Red-faced and sputtering, FB invited Web 2.0 to craft a new policy. Tens of thousands complied and crashed the page.

In more FB news, the first openly gay South Carolina public official credited the social networking site for his successful campaign.

Police shot a former chimp star for attacking a woman in Stamford, CT. On a semi-related note, the NY Post published an editorial cartoon equating the chimp with... our president? Post Editor-in-Chief Col Allan defends the cartoon: "It broadly mocks Washington's efforts to revive the economy." We say it makes a mockery of serious political cartooning. Oh, wait... (head slap) this is the NY Post, right? It can't be serious journalism, so it must be racist garbage.

On a parting note, we ask PETA to take on a new issue: TURKEY RAPE. And a homeless man has been given a way to panhandle AND stay in from the cold: a fundraising website that considerately provides a food registery: Ham Sandwich $3.50, Cheeseburger & fries $4, Footlong sub $5. Although, some people are less picky.


We were so distracted by our pro-stimulus screed that we neglected to forecast the homeowner's recovery package OR automakers returning with hats-in-hand. We're trying harder this week, we swear.

Reader Comments

Still so much gratitude for our bad attitude. Puts a little lift in Queenie's step! See you next week!


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