Friday, September 26, 2008

The TR: Baleful Bailouts, Wasilla Witchcraft and Debates, Debates, Debates

Bleh. The furious winds blasting from the bailout negotiations and the autumn chills coming from Mother Nature herself make you want to buy a Snuggie. Curl up with this week's TR! We can guarantee you at least a little warmth, and we won't make you look like a crazy person. Unless, of course, you want to wear the TR, too. In that case we can't help you.

Forecast

After three days of this "will they/won't they" debate drama (Sam and Diane all over again), it looks like they're going through with it. So we'll get to see Obama wearing a shadow of a smirk on one side of the stage and an ultra-grumpy My-Shenanigans-Didn't-Work McCain on the other. Fun times tonight with Johnny come lately, sheepishly skulking onto what's become Obama's stage.

Looks like both the right and left sides of the netroots are stoking backlash against particulars of the Federal Bailout deal. All that effort may be unnecessary, though, since a sizeable chunk of voters are getting pretty worked up all by ourselves: What? We're struggling to pay more for food and gas, and they want us to fork over a trillion dollars?! To "comfort" bank presidents and slush fund junkies?!?! (For visual, add froth at the mouth.) Here at TR Central, we're putting good money down (just a little money) that this backlash will endure through Election Day.

Funny, however, that Sean Hannity and others on the right haven't noticed the rightwing netroots going bananas against the bailout. Our own in-house marathon right-wing-media analyst "The Crank" reports that Hannity has a new theme song -- our friend O singing in falsetto: "I'll be there - if you need me, just call me." In other words, the wingnuts have convinced the conservative base that McCain won this round (and, uh, we guess he believes them, since he's already declaring victory -- that ad up there is real, no photoshopping from us or HuffPost to be had!). Just, you know, in case you feel differently.

Did you know that PacMan has a name, and that name is JP Morgan Chase? Today, the financial giant plopped down a paltry $1.9 billion and gobbled up Washington Mutual, the nation's largest savings and loan with $188 billion in deposits. Over the coming weeks, expect many more stories about the hollowing out of the financial industry, with big banks getting bigger, smaller banks minding their own business, and middle-sized banks -- well, looks like there won't be many left once the dust settles, just like the middle class, eh? Under a rock somewhere, an evil free-market genius is rubbing his hands in glee. It's all going according to plan.

Sarah Palin might be shying away from the media, but there is no doubt that they're her No. 1 fan. Women's magazines like Glamour, More, Ladies Home Journal -- they're all pumped about Palin coverage. That noise you hear? Oh, just Hillary grinding her teeth. As for actual news about Sarah, expect as little as possible as the McCain campaign attempts to pull closer the shroud of darkness around their media darling, who's so far only managed to prove her mastery of talking about new babies with world leaders and making the new president of Pakistan very excited.


The Week That Was

Today's DC newspapers reflect the country's mood, with their different angles and wide shots of -- a conference table? We are really getting down to business at the White House, people. Johnny Boy is front and center, showing the media and the rest of us that he is really committed to both solving the country's problems and dragging the media sideshow with him. We're all feeling a little out of sorts at the moment, John; trying to pull the media coverage back on you in the middle of a crisis most Americans really don't understand does not make you a problem solver. And, anyway, the summit wasn't a great success. As one staffer put it: "We may have gone backward." Sweet.

Remember all the gains we made earlier this year negotiating with the North Korean government? Poof! Gone. They've kicked out the U.N. inspectors and are now restarting their nuclear power plant. Phew, that's a relief... for a second there it looked like Bush had hired, you know, real diplomats. Anyway, the war starts Monday. Bring a sack lunch.

The latest cover of Entertainment Weekly has Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert resurrecting the famous tongue-in-cheek, Obama-phobic New Yorker cover of months past. Yep, it's proof that sometimes there are really only two people in the world, at any given time, who can truly get away with anything.

There's a viral video going around showing Sarah Palin being blessed by her pastor against witchcraft. Hmmm. Hey, FOX, whatcha waitin' for?

Ed McMahon is still alive! And the news only gets better from there. Uncle Ed, Johnny Carson's longtime sidekick, will be starring in two gangsta rap videos for FreeCreditReport.com. This reeks of "someone needs money," although kudos to him for letting us learn from his mistakes. Doesn't he have one of those humongous checkbooks lying around his mansion -- uh, house, somewhere? Or maybe you have to win your pension from Publisher's Clearing House too.

Scorecard

We predicted tomfoolery with Palin's trip to the U.N. and the McCain people didn't disappoint. They barred comprehensive coverage of the visit until a fierce media backlash by all networks forced them to relent. Y'know, the media may sometimes seem like a bunch of frat boys and sorority girls goofing off, but once you take a shot at them they can toughen up reeeaaal quick. Oh, and they can make or break you. Our advice: Just don't go there.

Have a great weekend!

1 comment:

SnarkQueen said...

Okay folks. I am watching MSNBC post-debate. As a yellow dog democrat liberal this is supposed to make me feel good. But, hello, it does not. John McCain gave a great debate. His advisors (Karl Rove, anyone?) clearly told him to revert back to his experience and his long experience with major world leaders. IT WORKED. In a time of economic unrest his SENIORITY played very well, even with this person who would vote for a dead person as Dem. So - media analysis -- MSNBC was nauseating, Fox actually seemed balanced and ABC took the honors. (Sigh) Let's see how witchcraft Wasilla Palin does against Biden doe shortly.